you make me want to cry

you make me want to cry
i vomit when i remember
    your smile-
all i ask for is but a
moment
when you used to allocate your
moments towards
someone else
i was in love with you
then i'd jump out the window
and spent time behind bars
that lay in the corners of my
mind.
we would hit each other in
  commons
say we never go to bed angry,
you gave me a watch for my birthday.
i see to the back of
my thoughts
maybe i was the one who raped you
though never took your clothes off
or even touched you!
though i raped you at 18
with the scares i left in yer mind
while you held nothing but love for me
you were my sunshine.
now you have gone away
i am left here though i refuse to rot
i'll play my cards that i create
cut them out on the table
i fashion out of my past selves
that person i use to be
is gone
i am him no longer,
but still nothing can ever replace
you,
the person that i miss.