The gut-wrenching tears
Of a mother's grief
Fall on the parched
Earthen grave
Where famine
Buried her heart
Author notes
In a list
A contest entry
- 20 words or less/20 entries by mysticstorm.
700 points, ended January 31, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Not For The Weak by Immortal Obscurity.
1750 points, ended June 9, 2008, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Nothing is real by whiterabbit..
345 points, ended May 29, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Human rights - and wrongs" by Vera Rich.
700 points, ended December 19, 2008, 21 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Ouch, this one hurts the soul. Very touching and strong in emotion and imagery. Well done
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Very vivid. It left me parched. I needed a glass of water when I finished it. What a beautifully written horrible vision.
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ooh, very good. I like it and the emotions are very strong. Thanks for entering!
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oh I can see where this would be devasatating... The loss of a child. And I can see that this was only allowed so many words...
But I think you could have filled it out a little more for my poem...
Thanks for sharing this with us. And thanks for entering it into my contest. -
Very dark and twisted, I like.
Good luck
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great poem thanks for sharing good luck
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This poem demonstrates that it is not necessary to write a lot in order to make a strong point. It is very poignant, especially with Christmas coming up, to reflect that large parts of the world are still devastated by famine. You would think that in the 21st century mankind would have worked out a way to distribute the resources of the planet fairly. But we haven't, have we? We still listen to BandAid singing Feed the World, let them know it's Christmastime, but we're no nearer to acting on it than we were a decade ago. It's a rotten world we live in, and it does no harm to reflect occasionally on the fact that we are only able to feed ourselves because an accident of birth has placed us in the "civilised" part of the planet.
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Short, but poignant, even painful to read, to know this is true
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Thank you for entering the "Human Rights - and Wrongs" competition. This is very short - but makes its point. I wish I had seen it earlier - as I could have put it forward for publication in connection with the "Holodomor" anniversary - as I did with another Allpoetry member's work. However, it is too late for that now. Sorry!
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this is incredibly sad and touching. beautifully done
thanks for entering! -
you want to eat a kitty? you didn't say you didnt? lol anyway yer good poem!
Thanks so much for entering and good luck! -
bitter and true for so many I could see my own vision of this painfully clear
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Beautiful
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Sad...
perfect.
Great work. -
"Famine" That's a good word to use. The death of a child must truly feel like starving and must feel parched also.
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hi i thought this was very powerful for a short write full of emotion and meaning well done tbhanks for entering good luck
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This is so incredibly sad but beautifully written.
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Thank you for entering my short poems contest. This is a wonderfully written about a story that needs to be told.
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In reading this, I can see why you won gold. Your imagery is vivid, and you have made such a statement in so few words. Some of my best poems are from the quickies, because one can be concise and profound, and you have done both here.
My only qualm: "Gut-wrenching" is a compound word and should be written as such. Other than that, though, a most lovely write, one of the better ones in this contest. I can almost guarantee that this one will be amongst the trophy-winners, though a second gold is unlikely. Well done, and good luck!
Laura
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oh my goodness... This is sensational.
Thank you for entering my contest.
Delila
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OMG. I can see how this took gold. It is a solid piece and makes a definite impact on the reader. Excellent.
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this is beautiful... congrats on the gold.
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OMGoodness! This I know all to well...the love of a mother and the sorrow she feels...wonderful imageryand metaphor...truly beautiful in heartfelt sadness...
Thank you for entering!
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