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How Many?

How Many?
She stopped tally at fifty-four;
how many more?
Much more than sixty-
eighty? A hundred? More?





                                      Sadly, more.






          (How many more
                  took her by force?)





But fewer than the stars, 
fewer than the ocean sands, 
fewer than the tears she’s shed
trying to forget.

                      .
                      .
                      .
                      . 



How many nights 
of anonymous dissatisfaction?
How many daybreak flights from their lonely beds
to avoid rejection?

               

                (The way their eyes
                      would not meet hers.)






How many times did she spin the loaded barrel
and point the gun at her head?
How did she continuously beat
the odds of roulette?



        (Never did one of their seeds
                  take root
                      or infect.)





How many showers
to scrub away ocean scent?

How many of them
offered to keep her?


How many roles did she play?



How many lies did she tell along the way?





She never even knew all their names.
If she tried,
could she remember











                  all











                        their



















                                faces          ?















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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • icetritium
    March 2
    Edit | Reply

    nice poem

  • Araya Sunshine
    January 18
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, this is way too sad.


  • Zayra Yves
    February 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for sharing your poetry. I appreciate the effort and how you reached into the soul for this work.

  • Tygyr-Gypsy
    January 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Its no wonder...

    You find favor with God. Because your heart speaks to
    the hearts of imperfect people, and offers hope to
    those who suffer continual rejection.

    As I read this poem, twenty something(?)disappeared
    into oblivion. (good riddance).

    I've just been browsing mostly, looking for new
    inspiration. Haven't written much of anything for
    a while now - cant seem to find enough release from
    the cares of this world to get my creative juices
    flowing.

    -Buster


    • Runawaytrain
      January 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I completely understand that kind of writer's block. I've gone months without writing anything. Sometimes looking through the contests here will spark a little something for me. I hope that things get better and allow your muse the energy it needs to flow.

1 - 5 of 5