She is the wind,
the delicate breath of heaven
on which eagles
ascend to the sun.
Ephemeral, yet
powerful enough
to leave an impression
upon his granite face.
He is a warrior,
standing apart
from the others,
bold and honorable
in spirit and convictions,
a tower of strength.
Ah, Minnow Stahkoo,
yours is such a
sorrowful tale!
The enduring love
of man and wife,
consummated
in the shadows
of the mountain
only to be
immortalized
at its precipice.
Come my friend,
can you see, there,
look upon the
mountain’s face.
A beautiful maiden
with papoose in
an ornately
quilled cradleboard
etched upon the stone.
Oh, she is the wind,
a passionate dancer
that crosses these
mountain meadows of
beargrass and fescue
in an unchoreographed,
yet spectacular
masquerade.
She floats like down
upon an eagle’s wing
longing to feel his arms
embrace her once more,
knowing that he is stone
and cannot run to her,
or catch her as she falls.
But lay upon
that mountain,
my friend,
and you may
feel a heartbeat,
pounding like drums
in the valley,
or you may hear
the flute of a soft breeze,
rustling her song of love
through the
spruce and pine.
Look there,
where the winter snows
run off in a
mournful stream of tears.
The mountain weeps
with a heavy heart.
She is the wind
that forever blows
in an effort to
embrace her man.
She is the wind.
Author notes
This is the Blackfoot legend of Chief Mountain. A Blackfoot war chief was killed in battle. His grieving wife climbed to the top of a nearby mountain and threw herself and baby off it. The mountain has been named Minnow Stahkoo (the mountain of the Chief). On the face of the mountain, one can see an image of the woman and child.
While this mountain is in Montana, it is just a few miles south of the Canadian border, and I grew up in it's shadow on the Canadian side. The mountain is of great significance to the Blackfoot and to all the people of Southern Alberta.
A link to a more formal telling of the legend:
http://www.geocities.com/native_american_storytellers/wetzelbill_chief_mountain_2915g.html
and a link to a picture of Chief Mountain as seen from near where I grew up
http://www3.telus.net/public/duce915/images/homewhenidiechiefmtnsunset.jpg
As with all my poetry, I appreciate constructive feedback so that I can improve as a writer. Please give it to me straight, I'm a big boy, I can take it.
In a list
- Native American • next in list
- Beautiful Words by Beautiful People I Know • next in list
- Historical • next in list
A contest entry
- Find Sensuality In The Prompt by Dalaney.
600 points, ended February 5, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PLEASE! Help me get rid of my points! by Shenanigans.
1000 points, ended May 19, 2008, 36 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PIF: Prewrites Contest for My Favorites by Night Hope.
900 points, ended June 13, 2008, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites w/ options!!!!! by perfectsunset.
450 points, ended August 14, 2008, 51 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Kindred Spirit by jocelynclaire.
400 points, ended November 10, 2008, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want new favourites. by broken-colours.
400 points, ended December 2, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 54 of 54
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A fanatastic poem, I think the imagery is stunning and the way you tell the story is brilliant. The feeling and power of the words really hits the reader as he reads and I cant say that there wasnt a part in this poem that didnt have my imagination off exploring the mountain and listening for the heartbeat or seeing the tears rush by in a mountain stream.
I think this poem is beautiful and that it thoroughly deserved the gold place it won in the contest Find Sensuality In The Prompt by Dalaney as a fresh write. And it's with deep regret that I have to inform you that because of this it breaks my 3rd rule for this contest. Feel free to enter a different poem and Good Luck.
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I wrote this so long ago I had forgotten it was written for a contest. I'll enter another, thanks for the kind words.
Rory
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This is quite deserving of all the shiny trophies you've garnered, Rory. Your sense of the natural world is impeccable and very moving, as well. I remembered this piece from before - of course, there aren't that many of yours I hadn't already read - some I may not have yet commented on, though. It's quite lovely. Thank you for entering my contest, my Friend. Good luck, Sweetie. 
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Wow!!! This is very moving and beautiful piece. I would say, the best one I have read, so far. And you always amaze me, in each of your writings. You write and when we read, you make me and possibly others, feel as though they are there. Feeling the very place, you are writing about. Love how you have captured, the imagery in this piece. Thanks, Rory, for sharing it. Take care and have a great day.
Sandi -
Wow! I'm a little overwhelmed at the quality of your work. You are a serious writer. What a great gift you possess. I enjoyed the way you told your story with earthly elements and comparisons. It has a very spiritual feel without coming off preachy or religious. Thank you for crossing my way...I look forward to reading more of your writes. Have a great day.
-Kendal
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Wonderfully written. Excellent piece =]
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I always love poetry like this.
Thank you so much for entering.
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This was an incredible. The poem you've written to explain this heartbreaking tale is both accurate and beatiful. I really enjoyed this.
Thanks for entering. -
A beautiful entry to my contest
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This... was...BEAUTIFUL in all its depth, emotion, imagery & creativity. I absolutely loved it, and how at the end, you tell us again, that she is the wind.
Amazing!
Best of luck & thanks for entering
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that same wind blows sometimes through the woods behind my house, singing softly of the greatest tragedies which have befallen, forgotten by most, suppressed by the victors who have stolen what was not theirs to take. Love the respect you show, and the obvious deep thought that went into this. Bravo!!!!
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"Look there,
where the winter snows
run off in a
mournful stream of tears.
The mountain weeps
with a heavy heart."
Sighhh...Such a beautiful, mournful, profound telling this is, Rory. Wonderful descriptions, designed to bring tears & only a heart that has been heavy with grief could grasp each & every nuance of this impeccable penning, my Friend. Thank you for entering, Sweetie. Good luck in the contest. Wanda
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This is great
So strong, yet so romantic and sweet. A really enjoyable read. Great work!!! It really got me. I think this is one of your best.
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this is such a beautiful piece of work. the story it told was amazing and set the perfect tone. i loved it, thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest.
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Ah, home and growing up with this sleeping warrior and the story, is one that is so very dear to me. This mountain and the story are part of my song. I spent my youth knowing about the many gray horses, the man and the woman, pita, ponokomata...and the lvoe of a grandfather who taught me the stories and took me to meet his friends that became important medicine in my life. I have stood on the hill before the spiral climb to the south side to cluimb the shale and seen the Cree area of the mountain, they sacred prayers fluttering in soft breezes. I have stood at the topmost precipice and known the absolutel beauty of Southern Alberta - its colors, its smell, the feeling of connectedness. My chidlren's great grandfather was an oldtimer who was one of the first with Kootney Brown to buid the trails up into Belly River, to Elizabeth Lake and part of their stories are in my grandchildren's blood. We were blessed, my friend, to have this story a very central, deep and rich symbol in our lives. Thank you so much for sharing this. it will be summere, there, before I go and lay my yearly offering.
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This poem is amazing! What beautiful imagery, a sad and wonderful marriage of love and nature. Great work, excellent luck in the contest.
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Absolutely beautiful. The grace of your style touches upon the senses you wish to, while also giving the mountain eternal strength. Much can be heard upon the wind and you portrayed it wonderfully.
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Wonderful.. thank you for sharing your favorite poem with me. Best of luck in the contest.
♥
whisper
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Lovely..the old stories are the ones we need to keep.
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A most heart rendering tail of true love and the legend holds there upon the mighty mountain their love still grows...he calls to her through the winds of time and she answers softly with her sigh...she has become the wind,the rain and the delicate snow for into his arms she will always be...Niaish! I truly love it
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Beautiful
I am of the Choctaw-Apache tribe and have heard many stories about our ancestors. Reading this one again made me feel the presence of all those gone before. You did a beautiful job in your rendition of the story, using your own style of storytelling! I can't see anything that I would change! Well Done!
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I have nothing but respect for this wonderfully written piece, It tells a tragic story of this beautiful place where you live. Tragic though it is...I like the style with which it is written, it reads well and never stumbles, almost like it is spoken aloud.
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narrative
Hello there Rory.
I read your awesome narrative poem with much enjoyment and interest. The story you tell with your words is excellent. The language you use is well chosen and combines imagery, statement and knowledge in an effective way. The layout is good as it gives me the feeling of mountains.
I really don't have any critisisms, but I'll try to find something wrong in some of your other poems, if that will make you feel better.
You are onto a winner here.
have a gr8 day,
BJ.
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Excellent.
I think that the gold trophy was appropiate for this piece. I saw the image on the picture of the mountain. What a great poem and story.
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this was a VERY GOOD write about myth/legend of native american tribes this should be interspersed with more 'BLACKFOOT' lexicons/allusions to the gods of these ancient peoples ANYWAY thanks for sharing these legends regards zaj
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Magnificent. You have accomplished an enchanting blend of the gestalt of man and nature that is reminiscent of the legend on which it is based. It flows so smoothly that mechanics never intrude on the mood and space that is being created. It leaves me with an appreciation of both the legend and the rhythms of the elements in the process of ongoing creation. Thank you for sharing it.
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this poem of you was so very absolutely beautiful that it really touch my heart wtih is sadness, the beauty in which you wrote it took my breathe away at least to me. i thank you so very much for shareing it. have a great night
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this is simply beautiful I noticed one line that I stumbled over I think it is just a typo
" She floats like down " but other than that is is just gorgious and beautiful in flow and verse.
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excellence! the imagery is awesome well done i love that the journey it took me on.... thanks for sharing
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I can easily see why this took Gold. The imagery is stunning and I really enjoyed the journey here. Nice
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excellent work
my first impression of this unique work and i loved very very good,keep up the good work.
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But lay upon
that mountain,
my friend,
and you may
feel a heartbeat,
pounding like drums
in the valley,
or you may hear
the flute of a soft breeze,
rustling her song of love
through the
spruce and pine.
Ahhhhh! YES!! this is exactly the way it goes...
Wonderful imagery, wonderful alliteration. It resonates peacefully, like the sunrise playing upon the faces of the ancient mountains in which I live. These mountains breathe, speak, and mourn the wind when it whispers..
(Our legend is that of Taquitz..an Indian God..amazing story, if you've time or inclination..)
I absolutely love this piece. Nothing constructive to criticize about it at all..
Bravo, And congrats on the gold! Well deserving!
Jin
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Compelling, sad and gentle
Oki Misstak matapi,
A lovely take on the the legend.
Favorite part:Look there, where the winter snows
run off in a mournful stream of tears. The mountain weeps with a heavy heart.
There is a hill in Bajerling Clan country here in W.A. that is called The Hill That Cries; for similar reasons as the Blackfoot story.
Can't see any technical issues that need addressing.
Good to see you back on the prairie
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Remorse Love and the ever after
Only the strongest and truest of loves can drive one to such wonderous verse as to praise the dying of a remorsefull wife that she may rejoin her one true love in the sky and in eternal life.
For what is it to die but to leave behind a sense of worth a sense that one has lived and died an honorable life without compromise nor living under the oppressive hand of the dark overlord.
Let the mountain speak of the power of such a love that it might yet give rise to a new generation of proud and strong believers.
I like it, I like it so!
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This is exactley what I am talking about when I grow concerned that you are playing games with your ink. What part of, "I am just as good as all those great historical authors" do you not seem to get? I understand that it is more difficult now to find an interested publisher than maybe it was before the onslaught of the internet, but that aside, the only question left is, "What are you doing to get your work published"? RC
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Rory - this is absolutely beautiful.
I love this poem so much, I love the story; everything about it..excellent, excellent poetry and well deserving of the gold..I am in tears while reading this..
you are getting very good with writing free verse.
(the only suggestion is technical:
"immortalized
at it’s precipice."
should be its)
I am so happy I read this one today..a sad one, but so beautiful...
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So hauntingly beautiful. Native American history and folklore is so enthralling and you write it so sympathetically.
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I just found you. I love native American lore. Like your writing style.
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you never disappoint me...this is a beautiful tale, and written almost as if you were a part of the story...thank you, Rory. Love, Lane
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The imagery was very powerful and I enjoyed getting lost in it. Well written and thank you for the lesson =)
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Wonderully Woven
tale of fact and nature. Those stories that come to us from the past that have a visible link to us in some way are always more than interesting. To know of them is to know of the land and it's history.
Thank You for this wonderful poetic tale. Thanks for providing the link to the picture of the mountain today as well.
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My all time favourite poem is Hiawatha this poem gave me that sort of feeling.There is such beauty in the Native Indian legends more should be made of them Excellent piece , a joy to read Good luck in the contest
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Very good
I enjoyed this version of the telling. I don't think I'll check the links you left, if it won't offend you; I liked yours too much!
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Wow... you really should have entered this into my element contest for wind! This was beautiful. Though the style of the poem is not one that I really adore I did enjoy the imagery and the word choice. You did a wonderful job bringing this to life. Well done and good luck in the contest.
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I learned something new today. I had never heard of this legend. It is sad and beautiful all at the same time Well done
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beautiful!
breathtaking imagery! I loved that you explained the legend it makes the poem so much more enjoyable. -
it 's beautiful ! well done the imagery and flow are full of grace such passion.. it take my breath away..thanks for sharing
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"She is the wind
that forever blows
in an effort to
embrace her man.
She is the wind."
I think like all other poets These lines are very amazing and praisworthy.
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it looks like you may have very well hit the contest prompt right on the head, this piece did find that abstract sensuality that is so difficult to come across with ease...
good luck in the contest
mike, aka jonathan wikkins
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The mountain, I am sure, is honored by your poem. This tale of the spirit wedded forever to the stone, sings to the deepness of love, the permanance of caring. You have shared well.
Love, Tom B.
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Your poem adds poetic grace to the original legend, my friend. I can imagine a tribal bard reciting this to an enthralled audience around the village campfire. Very well done--a compelling read.
Bill
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I cannot say I've every heard of the tale before reading this. But I think your rendering of it is ever faithful and enthralls the readers enough so that they want to research it themselves. Your telling is wonderful. I enjoyed every line. Keep up the great work and best of luck in your contest.
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"She is the wind
that forever blows
in an effort to
embrace her man.
She is the wind"
I love this part. I love the wind...I have a daughter now 35..I named her Windy..thank goodness she is an artist..it is fitting...Love the story within this poem, its beautiful. Lovely, thanks for sharing
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"She is the wind
that forever blows
in an effort to
embrace her man.
She is the wind."
This is beautifully written. The imagery is rich and vivid and the pictures come to life in the mind of the reader. Wonderful!
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