&& it burns my lungs like
shattered glass attacks
breathing asbestos anthrax
shooting high, flying through the sky;
those car-crash stories always leave out
the beauty of crunching metal,
speed-driven heart attacks
and that oh-so-gorgeous taste of
razorblade romances, bloody gums
and white powder spilling into crimson veins.
it's a hard-candy fantasy
like licorice slithering through solidified veins
so graceful and just oh-so-evilly delicious;
oh, this life is liquid rainbow magic,
love affairs floating on air,
[oh, cloud nine is all mine]
&& the grass is greener through these eyes
blurred spinning dizzyingly beautiful
[shaken, not stirred, love]
and even a little of that
tragic cliff-jumping fiasco mixed in
[is my skin tearing at the seams?]
the world shines rockstar fabulous,
spilling cash for small bags
&& the ability to fall away from
your distortion channels, this reality;;
i'm breathing fast, running into the night
[my eyes are ablaze;; am i frozen in fire?]
&& i can see into forever, from here to the next life
oh, my lungs are coated && nobody sees the stars
like i do.
&& you can criticize my life,
your broken parentheses speak volumes
and i can hear every last word whispered
but what's scrawled on the pages of your life,
light pencil due dates and promises?
oh, i scream in color;;
fuck your world, dear,
because i can see the glitter in the sky,
i taste symphonies; oh, i'm alive.
Author notes
Hope this is what you were looking for.
A contest entry
- *Acid-Meth-Glass-Speed-Extasy* Addiction. by Nicotine Eyes.
300 points, ended February 13, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - One Big Trip by Coffer.
450 points, ended July 8, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dirty Pretty, anyone?♥ by innocence jaded.xx.
575 points, ended July 28, 2008, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Whatever you want to say. Critiques, anything. :)
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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"Cloud nine is all mine"
I don't know why, but I loved this sentence
Whole the piece is actually amazing...you definitely have some very inspirational dreams so your poetry is SO creative
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wow
pretty amazing. you described the emotion very well, i was in a car crash myself a few years ago.......wasn't anything to tragic. but you did capture the panic i was going through at that time. so very well done. keep it up. -
Wowww. Ohkay, so I really can't even pick out my favorite lines, because this is AMAZING. Wows. But I will pick out the lines that really stood out me anyway =)
-i'm breathing fast, running into the night
[my eyes are ablaze;; am i frozen in fire?]
&& i can see into forever, from here to the next life
oh, my lungs are coated && nobody sees the stars
like i do.
...
Stunning imagery. You also used incredible metaphors in this piece. Wow. Thanks for entering & good luckkk !!! ♥
Oh, & what's your AP name? I don't do it often but I'd like to check out your other poems too =)
<3
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thank you so much !! i really appreciate it
it's deadpixie020
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"like licorice slithering through solidified veins
so graceful and just oh-so-evilly delicious;
oh, this life is liquid rainbow magic,
love affairs floating on air,
[oh, cloud nine is all mine]"
wowow,this is the first poem ive read and im vurry impressed,love the wording and creativity.
p.s-lets be friends :] -
this is an amazing poem! i've never read anything like this before...
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beautiful imagery! great job, exactly what i was looking for. GOOD LUCK!
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Oh my gosh that was amazing! You have quite a talent. My favorite line "your broken parentheses speak volumes".
Fantastic!
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wow this is great you make somthing so bad so beautiful you got talent
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Whoa. I started reading this and immedietely loved it from beginning to end. So much imagery, and the form in which you present it is almost scarily connected with the topic. The beginning I think really reeled me in:
&& it burns my lungs like
shattered glass attacks
breathing asbestos anthrax
shooting high, flying through the sky;
Anyways, really awesome job here. Keep writing!
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This is exactly what im looking for, you hit the spot on this one. Thanks & good luck
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