Can’t retain myself from saying the truth,
If I offend you, I ask your forgiveness…
You may not follow as I expected,
But I do want you to know I never did commit betrayal.
Of all the candy kisses and the humming lullabies,
Yours were the best... simply the best…
Now you say I’m being vindictive,
When the truth is, I’ve been longing for you…
This desire to see you, this urge to tell you and yet can’t do so…
Given too much passion out of nothing,
You never see me the way I still see you,
Love you and miss you, and yet, I can’t have you…
How I hate that day you left me…
Valentine’s Day.... I suffocate with you...
&& He's gone....
but this time....
is
FOREVER
In a list
A contest entry
- Love- Anything goes by Rachel21.
700 points, ended March 8, 2008, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
My music is my mortuary... please don't disturb the dead
Comments
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thank you so much for the poem, WOW you used like most/all of the words, you didnt have to but its very nice of you. I like this poem
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I liked this poem, although I didn't feel the emotion in it. You did well with the words chosen, but the raw emotion just didn't seem to have much power in this one. None the less, it was still a beautiful poem.
(Also, But I do want to let know I never did commit betrayal, perhaps you should change it to "But I do want you to know I never did commit betrayal." Sounds smoother, and you forgot the 'you'.)
Great write!
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