Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

a gentler face

Words wakened feelings found sleeping within
that touched us deeply as considered truth
rose from our cores and glowed beneath our skins
rhythms and memories bonded to youth;

shown others sharing our worldly place
this undivided breath and sweet water well
that life might indeed show a gentler face,
wanderer’s journey touched love and fell.

Imagine there is a heaven, faith is test for true
the world leaves us cold and blinded by doubt;
his vision was brighter days sun splashed blue
in freedom from fear, when none go without;

imagine, for its there our hopes belong;
know we’ve been graced by a man and his songs.


In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • NewDay
    August 19

    Edit | Reply

    :))))

    so much feelings put into this poem

    shown others sharing our worldly place
    this undivided breath and sweet water well
    that life might indeed show a gentler face,
    wanderer’s journey touched love and fell

    this line touched me

    juliet

  • I see nothing wrong in this poem. It is a great poem. Keep writing. My favorite part is
    Words wakened feelings found sleeping within
    that touched us deeply as considered truth
    rose from our cores and glowed beneath our skins.

  • ecrivain01 silver member
    January 30
    Edit | Reply

    Yes. I see ...

    that it could be used that way, but I don't think most readers would see the esoteric usage in reading this, but would think just what I did.
  • ecrivain01 silver member
    January 30

    Edit | Reply

    Not bad ...

    but the punctuation is not right, and "indeed" is one word in line 7. All in all, though, you've done fairly well.

    Thanks for entering.