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Sonnette's Deadly Drink

I'm gonna make him fall in love somehow
as he imbibes my squirting ninth potion,
heart's fourth chamber awaits his stature now
as skins collide in rhythmical motion.

As he tasted my juices naturale
birds and bees gleed with buzzing zees of ease
he salivated like a cannibal
at the moistened feel of My Spot of Gees

Open your mouth oh victim fair and chaste
and gulp this lovely labia of love
each reddened bud aware of every taste
to wrap this gentle surface like a glove.


As you behold this chocolate covered cup
Sonnette responds, "Drink up, Drink up, Drink up!"

A contest entry

lol...what was this sonnet about in your estimation?

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • lilAj
    March 5, 2008

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    WOW!! lol

    me memba one movie whe did nme so enuh (love potion # 9) and that as me remember it did sell off! you write sonnets on the most interesting themes!
    very hot stuff here
    whew!
    but wait...

    "he salivated like a cannibal
    at the moistened feel of My Spot of Gees"


    what a similie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    if this is like a real life painting (which me naw too doubt, the bredda when real hungry tha night de to rathid! lol)




  • Mat Larkin
    February 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    tasty..

    feminine...erotic...unique. Congratulations on a nice work..


  • LiMarie silver member
    February 1, 2008

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    Well hello there! This made me smirk, then laugh out loud. I enjoyed so much the sense of play , and the love of the (ahem) er "act" that comes through. I've no criticism to give you..I've no authority and I'm new here but like the guy going through M.O.M.A for the first time said, I know what I like!I wanted also to compliment your wonderful optimism in your poem Resilience. I love your strength and will which is communicated so artfully therein. Best of luck


  • grannyeri gold member
    January 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Welcome to AP. How exciting it is to post that first poem and let others know you are a poet. Congratulations on doing just that a few days ago. Thanks for commenting on my poem earlier. Sonnets are easy once you get the knack and I am sure you will get that soon. Good effort - keep writing. Remember to have fun while here.

  • Kay-Ann V. Pinnock
    January 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    yo Stacy, the iambic pentameter was MURDERING me...sonnets are restrictive and outside of my poetic style... but i'm gonna try to perfect my craft and learn different styles...


  • J.J. Sass
    January 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well this made me laugh... naughty, naughty, naughty.

    I won't give a critical comment because I think this was more of a 'fun' write than a really serious one, but I still have to make mention of the inconsistency in tense. I don't mean switching from present to past and back to present from stanza to stanza, but in S2 the jump from past in L1 to present in L2 takes away from the coherence.

    Anywho, that's my two cents.


  • Lords unforgiven
    January 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!!!

    This is amazing!
    I was a lil confused at first but now i get it.
    I love the words you use, like rythmical and naturale and labia.
    Good words!
    Bravo!


  • Kay-Ann V. Pinnock
    January 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    what can i say man cunnilingus rocks! it's art imitating life imitating art!


  • Peteskid gold member
    January 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this has a wonderful sense of enthusiasm, that "just cant wait feeling" that is so appealing, so many ways to talk about desire and passion and this is such an expression of a fresh sense ... very well done...PK

  • Kay-Ann V. Pinnock
    January 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    WOW! I am flattered fired-up and floored by your gracious response. Thanks for the hearty welcome I feel so loved being an all-poetry newby and all. A colleague of mine introduced me to this site and I'm already a certified addict! Btw, already I'm able to agree with u that I'm able to learn while making friends. Thanks again FRIEND!


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    January 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hi there!
    Although this topic isn't my area of expertise,... I know the substance. (As Whoopi said in 'Clara's Heart')

    In its style, this is written well in form. It has some interesting poetics, especially in the couplet that finishes the subject.
    " As you behold this chocolate covered cup
    Sonnette responds, " Drink up, Drink up, Drink up!"

    Overall, you've written an interesting piece that should invite others to give their interpretation.

    In the meantime, welcome to the site where we learn so much while making friends!
    I am sure the explanation of 'metaphor' will be appreciated!

    Warmly, CookieZeal

    Welcome to AllPoetry!:

  • Kay-Ann V. Pinnock
    January 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A few insights:
    1. "ninth potion": it's symbolic of Love Potion No. 9 (a drink intended to rouse the love and/ or desire of a particular person)

    2. "heart's fourth chamber awaits his stature now": the literal heart has four chambers. Symbolically, the heart represents desire. Hence, I desire his presence.

    3. "Birds and bees...": this refers to nature and sex

    4. "Chocolate covered cup": I am dark skinned, hence i thought chocolate adequately describes the colour of my complexion.

    5. The title of the poem: The name Sonnette is a deliberate pun to describe the nature of the poem... which happens to be a sonnet

    i hope u like this piece!

1 - 13 of 13