He is a god carved from the white marble moon,
a stone angel, whose image is forever etched into
the canvas of the night as an eternal constellation.
Thousands of suns are woven into the silk strands of
his hair, shining like celestial rubies, red as
sacrificial blood, flowing like waterfalls from
the alters of heaven.
His eyes are stars, brilliant golden orbs that
enraptures the hearts of distant planets, sticking
to him like sweat on lovers,
and in that final climax, that distant supernova,
the world turns
white.
Author notes
option 2
i really wanted to write about what edward looks like when he is out in the sun, however, this sort of just...came
as always, tell me if there are any mistakes and how i can improve.
written january 30, 2008
LXF
In a list
A contest entry
- Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse by JessTheMess.
330 points, ended March 10, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think?
Comments
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hey im jess the mess's friend....
good write.
its alittle a.d.d. but its good and descriptive in a colorful way. next time try to keep going. dont just stop when you think the creative juices have stopped flowing. push yourself thats how you get better.
good luck . you have my vote. => -
This is a wonderful poem... but I have no idea who Edward is... nevertheless your words are beautiful and I imagine him being a creator of some kind - distant but loving (I'm probably way off
) I really liked the ending of this poem, it was beautiful
Keep writing
Polly
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Now THAT is a poem around the concept of god that I actually like. So deep and real and clever. Wonderful work.
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I like it as a poem, however if you were trying to write about what he looks like in the sun, why would you use so many mentions of stars and the night time. It is however a great write as is and I really like it.
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