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Softer

 

This evening,

the light is on over the stove;

the one above

the kitchen sink is on, too.


White walls

in the dining room devour

the glass chandelier’s color,

while a bathroom’s vanity
competes down

the hallway.


I've left the touch lamp on

in the bedroom --

one by one, I turn them off

before I fall asleep

 

until all that remains is

the soft night light of you.
























Author notes

the picture with #3
Photoart "Tangerine Moon" Photo credit to unintelligibill@Flicker foto

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 51 of 51

  • Thomas Scott gold member
    July 5, 2008

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    Yes. Oh, yes.

    This poem and most of the others of yours that I have read demonstrate how much room there can be inside one, single metaphor.


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    April 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this ones a winner .... the different lights, the hues inside the rooms, the suggestion of tenderness and warmth ... then the final lines .... him as a metaphor for light, or visa versa, and I mean the feelings and tenderness of light which through the poem you observe, analyse and act upon ... as though making love


  • Swan song gold member
    March 30, 2008

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    How come I never get tired of reading your poetry!
    The last two lines of this tied this poem together very well.


  • individuality gold member
    February 16, 2008

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    An enjoyable piece of poetry, sounds very posh where you are, I will have to buy a tie if ever I come and pay you a visit, a good poem.


  • delightfulmess silver member
    February 9, 2008

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    OH..... Sigh... Love it Love it.
    Congrats on the shiney bronze This was gold to me
    Well done


    Delila


  • Desire gold member
    February 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Oh My!!

    Now this is another Beautiful Journey You take me on and I just sipped my sparkling bubbly while inhaling Your words
    Love it!!

    You are amazing at bringing the reader alongside You to see what You see also feel what You feel

    Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
    -Throws confetti-
    Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo


    Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Voice~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
    Best wishes too my Friend
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • poeticweaver gold member
    February 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Nice,

    I like how you take someone there with your wonderfully worded verses that you weave so perfectly within your poetry.. The flow is nice, and it's all detailed out.. and captivates the reader within me. Thanks for sharing friend. Congrates on placing here in the contest to.

    -Timothy


  • myrataal silver member
    February 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely and Content ...

    and making me feel so at home. What a sensitive soul you are ... And I remember how I used to put on the light above the stove EXACTLY for the same reason: to have a softer hue before I finally went to bed ...

    Of course, the exit line was just so amazing in its afterglow.

    Blessed be.

    Myra


    • tara wilson gold member
      February 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      hi Myra...aww...thank you so much for your lovely and very perceptive comment..


  • Kiran silver member
    February 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A beautifully written poem. Lovely use of imagery and tone. I loved this. A gentle and loving piece. Congrats on the trophy!


  • zochit2me gold member
    February 4, 2008
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    Damnit...lol

    This is sexy-sensual...

    Becky


  • BabyBun silver member
    February 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This made me stop and stare. I love it...it is a memorable piece - you have a wonderful talent!


  • Mari Goes gold member
    February 4, 2008
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    Your poem was my favourite in this contest.
    Gold trophy in my eyes


  • BeautifulVampire
    February 3, 2008
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    awesome poem! very well written :


  • Mari Goes gold member
    February 3, 2008

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    Lovely soft tone in this poem.
    It's romantic without being sugary, as a normal quiet night before going to bed. Just lovely
    Mari

  • Swan song gold member
    February 3, 2008
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    This touched me. You have a way of doing that Beautiful berautiful poem!!!!!


  • Namita
    February 3, 2008

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    Beautiful... so sensual and soft... love the ending. Good luck in the contest, Tara.

    - namita


    • tara wilson gold member
      February 3, 2008
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      awww..there she is..my second daughter..lol

      and I did not even have to give birth twice!!

      you are beautiful...


  • notorious gold member
    February 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    A unique twist on a common theme

    White walls
    in the dining room devour
    the glass chandelier’s color,
    while a bathroom’s vanity
    competes down
    the hallway.

    I love how the dining room "devours" the glass chandelier's color, and how a bathroom's vanity can "compete" with anything. Your use of personification is wonderful.

    The title of the poem is also wonderfully suited...it really does have a softness about it. =)

    Jessica


  • Mallig gold member
    February 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So lovely! I really enjoyed the progression of steps leading to the ending. I really liked "White walls
    in the dining room devour
    the glass chandelier’s color," Best of luck in the contest!


  • Sonja
    February 2, 2008

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    Quiet scene, serene, soothing feelings coming out of your poetry. Only a few reason why you are on my fav's list. Beautiful.
    ~Sonja~


  • PageTurner
    February 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Delicious Imagery



    So blushingly beautiful...


    "one by one, I
    turn them off before I fall asleep

    until all that remains is the
    soft night light of you."

    ...Sighhh!

    Scrumptious, Scribe.

    ~ Nicky♥


  • Jim Berkheiser
    February 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A poem as soft as the scene you've set. I would suggest you leave 'night' ou of the last line. JUst my opinion.

    Good luck with the contest.

    Jim

  • Virgoan
    February 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the transit of words in this piece. The way you give meaning to lights makes the readers breathe and realize its parallel.

    The last stanza is superb, keep it coming my friend

    Thanks for sharing.

    HENSLEY a.k.a VIRGOAN


  • Nicolette gold member
    February 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Indeed a lovely soft touch to this poem, Tara...the soft light of love that shines through the night, no matter how dark it is.

    We have regular power outages here in SA now (2 - 3 times a day)...so, I can very much relate to the practical implications of this poem...but of course, the gentle light of your words is what speaks to me.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Jack vs Explosion
    February 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think my favorite part of this poem was determining what "you" in the very last line was in reference to. I still don't know for certain. A second physical individual? Possibly an ethereal creature/individual? Maybe an abstract reference to a completely inanimate object? I get a reflective feel, possibly as though through the monotonous act of turning lights off, something done many times before, there is something that is either entirely different (possibly the absense of something?) or that everything is completely normal. And after reading quickly again, is there the possiblity that through the repetition or ritual of turning off these lights, there's a surprise or sudden appreciation of something you're used to being more than just what it is? I.E. "White walls in the dining room/devour the glass chandelier’s/color," where the dining room is newly noticed in the casting of these chandelier lights?

    I noticed a lot of reference in other comments to love... And I don't get that feel whatsoever. I don't necessarily know (nor pretend to know) what this poem is about, but for some reason the importance here is not truly defined in an image of "love".

    I feel rather silly for going through a 12 line poem and leaving a novel of a comment. But there's just so much to disect beyond just what's said, I truly enjoy the potential and real and abstract implications.


  • Oisin silver member
    January 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There is an energy crisis don't you know!

    The imagery you have created here is wonderful, you can vision the end of the day, and lights systematically being turned off and the day ending....very gently.

    nice.

    • tara wilson gold member
      January 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      LOL...I was waiting for someone to say that

      thanks, Scott..


  • ellipsist
    January 31, 2008

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    this is an amazing journey... somewhat simple, or it could be, bu it is intense, as well...

    just beautifully written!


  • elemental angel
    January 31, 2008
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    Love and Light
    Bravo


  • monstruo
    January 31, 2008

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    I like the progression through your house here. This could be taken in more than one way, depending on the last line. How many times have I walked through this lonely apartment at night, turning off all the lights so I can sleep.

    Figures, the light that keeps me awake I can't turn off. I can relate to this March. Amazing poetry.

  • silverfish
    January 31, 2008

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    i like the way the light shines softly in your soul, the kitchen, and the way you lead me through the other glowing rooms of your life. i'm left with the image of the night light, an embering love that warms your bed and defends your dreams against the darkness with it's life. -redphish


  • naked roots
    January 31, 2008

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    Ahhh...those ending five lines are beautiful.
    I need a soft night light...
    Excellent poem Tara, I always love your love poetry!

  • Suzanne Dia
    January 31, 2008

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    Sigh.

    You write love so tenderly and beautifully. That always strikes me about your work. You make me believe in it.




  • Malabu
    January 31, 2008

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    this is simply touching...and I think of lights...and love...and when the day of light is over...there is you...shining warmly in the night...and I close my eyes and breathe in that warmth...soo soo beautiful it sings
    Mal


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    January 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is really cool :

    White walls in the dining room
    devour the glass chandelier’s
    color, while a bathroom’s vanity
    competes down the hallway.

    I think that would throw some nice, elongated rainbow colors, wouldn't it, nice soft ones, especially with a gentle glow from the nightlight down the hallway putting energy into the surfaces of the chandelier?

    ... in my mind i placed this image into a corresponding image with the 'you' of the ending couplet, i have no idea why, but everything else was being turned out, except for small nightlights here and there... this poem sets into my vision like sparks through icecicles (sp) that run up and down the transparent glass of winter ....

    even with all this, a person you love is the dominant light because they burn softly in your heart, and things which burn softly often put out more light, the more they are loved.... this is a very cool understatement, this poem.

    you could put a comma before 'too' in last line of first stanza, but it isn't important. Either way, this poem is flawless.

    Moqui says


  • Tam
    January 30, 2008

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    oh Tara!!!

    how beautiful you are!!! my brilliant shining light of AP...
    you are incredible...this is beyond stellar penning!
    as always your gorgeous poetic voice is perfect for this gentle soothing image of verse...
    you rock my world lady!!!
    WOW...and WOW again!
    love this write!!!
    Blessings! Tammy


  • Mezclita
    January 30, 2008

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    Hmmm... beautiful! But... just your imagination right? (Sorry had to ask... so please don't even answer if you don't want to)


  • poet2angels gold member
    January 30, 2008

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    This is beautiful!
    Such a soft journey of light

    Lynda

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    January 30, 2008

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    Beautifully written. The poetess places imagery on the page that allows the emotion to resonate, cleverly crafted,this is honed to the point of the light that we carry within,the flicker of the flame is felt. Simply wonderful and yet nothing simple about it. Kudos.


  • kaibab silver member
    January 30, 2008

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    Such a sweet and endearing image...and one I have always loved ever since the old Walton TV show...nice work Ms. March


  • CaliOkie silver member
    January 30, 2008

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    So gentle, so sweet

    This poem, when spoken, must be whispered. The imagery is so compelling. You mention lights and you have this beautiful image of the chandelier and the color of the light and the white light, but yet I very much feel the darkness that exists beyond the reach of the light. By drawing attention to the lights, you bring the darkness into awareness.

    And then, the further image of turning off the lights one by one -- as if pulling in the darkness like a blanket and basking in the glow of your "night light."

    This is a beautifully quiet, gentle, and loving poem. You have turned your love into a commonplace mystery.

    CaliOkie


  • paulcreates silver member
    January 30, 2008
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    *whispered*


    Soft light, soft write,
    be with ardentMarch tonight.
    Zzzzzzzzz.............
    Paul


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    January 30, 2008
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    In a word: serene. Nicely done Tara.


  • Arizona Sunset
    January 30, 2008

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    beautiful and sweet. I really love the way you used the imagery, and your flow was fantastic! best to you in the contest! great take on the prompt ~ blessings always ~ Trisha


  • misselaineous
    January 30, 2008

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    i love the bathrooms vanity!
    this is a very well considered and imageful write
    i like


  • Peteskid gold member
    January 30, 2008
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    Thank you for this fine entry into the contest, and best of luck to you in the judging...PK

    This comment in the distinctive style of Utok Bulinaw(Rhona)
    "and the picture here is so well done, the walls, colors and the fixtures; the setting comes complete as the trail of lights lead to the last image... soft in the night...light, this is excellent..."


  • arafura gold member
    January 30, 2008

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    A world of swirling imagery that slowly unfolds then disapears one by one until only THE light is left... beautiful!


  • Heath Thompson
    January 30, 2008
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    Yes, I like this. I wondered where it was heading and the final stanza doesn't disappoint.

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