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I need to remind myself

 I need to remind myself
that your the one who left.
 That I shouldn't and couldn't have any feelings for you,
but my heart aches and my head pounds.
 I can't forget you, nor can I forgive you,
forgiveness is just too hard of an emotion to show right now.
 My heart tells me I love you,
while my head refuses to agree.
 I try to convince myself that you love me and will return
but I realize trying is useless, you are not coming back.

 So I tell my heart it's time to move on,

no matter how hard it will be.

 Fare well, I'm leaving you,

flying away on the back of butterfly wings.

Author notes

5. dragon24

A contest entry

Sooooo...... what do you think???

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • SignifyingNothing
    August 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very heartfelt.

    "that your the one who left." should be "that you're the one who left."

    It expresses your feelings in a very simple, direct manner.

    Thank you for enering it in the contest.


  • MYsecondchance
    June 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is awesome great write thanx for entering


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    March 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I agree, forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do. I need to be forgiven and the purpose of this contest was for me to find that, or to even forgive myself, which is just as hard to do.

    Back to your poem. Well done on the golden trophy! I really see talent in your writing!

    I hope you will keep the ink flowing!

    Thank you very much for entering!

    Becks


  • im only half empty
    March 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It could use a little structure...I'm not big on the whole one stanza thing.

    "I need to remind myself
    That you're the one who left.
    That I shouldn't and couldn't haev any feelings for you."

    A few mistakes...they can easily be fixed


  • Tangled Angle
    February 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    strong in emotion. thanks for entering and good luck.


  • De-Throned
    February 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    good poem... Lots of emotion. Good luck in the contest


  • Metaphorist
    February 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nice hopeful ending. Thanks for entering.


  • Brklynbeauty
    February 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I loved it.....I like how put it, you love him, but sometimes we just have to let them stay away...at the end we realize how better off we are anyway.....good writing.....thnx again.....


  • SoRrYhErLoT
    February 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful...it's truly a heartbreaker....but that's how I felt after my relationship ended, so I can DEFINATELY relate! Thank you so much for entering!


  • Xx Luna xX
    February 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well done!

    My heart tells me I love you,
    while my heart refuses to agree.
    I think you meant: While my mind refuses to agree...

    This is lovely...
    That gold trophy you are after is close!!
    I hope you win gold in this contest, good luck!


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    January 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this mademe cry i just wanted to embrace you in the biggest hug.I loved this so much an amazing penning just wow

1 - 11 of 11