The future lights up in the sky
Showing the way for both you and I
The path is long and quite weary
And too soon is it to be seen clearly
To see your face, and your warm smile
Makes every waited moment worth the while
Though the time seems to go by fast
Being around you is surely a blast!
To make you laugh feels so great
You’ve made me laugh since our first date
If you were gone the world would cry
If you were gone I’d want to die
A kind heart you can surely bet
The kindest heart I’ve ever met
And even in the wakes of sorrow
With you on my mind I can look to the morrow
How I’d love to grab your hand and dance
To hold you in my arms in sweet romance
But if we are to part our ways
In your heart I hope to stay
To you who sets the blossoms abloom
Author notes
This is one of various poems that I've written for Valentine's day. I'm trying to pick out the best one so I can read it to my ex. Hope it goes well *crosses fingers*
A contest entry
- Romance by Frodofan.
600 points, ended February 9, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Face You Love Most by Shapla.
440 points, ended February 23, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - III by N e a r.
4000 points, ended February 16, 2008, 121 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Let me know what you think!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Great read!
very strong. Love is a very strong emotion that can help or hurt. In this you have a bit of both. Very nice!
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You did a good job with this poem. Emotions can be hard to detail and describe, but no worries ~ you did your part and created a wonderful write that expresses those feelings to the reader in a way s/he can understand [and possibly relate to]. Well done!
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Thanks for entering my Valentine's Day contest, and good luck!
M a r l u x i a
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Nice rhyming and a nice piece indeed. I liked the following lines most-
" kind heart you can surely bet
The kindest heart I’ve ever met
And even in the wakes of sorrow
With you on my mind I can look to the morrow
How I’d love to grab your hand and dance
To hold you in my arms in sweet romance
But if we are to part our ways
In your heart I hope to stay
To you who sets the blossoms abloom"
Beautiful.Good luck in my contest
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The last line is the nicest phrase-wise, but I think it's lacking of a rhyme makes it have a sort of weak ending. Perhaps you could add another line, "To love you, darling, is my doom" or something like that... surely that's not the best example though.
Thanks for entering. Hope your valentines plans go well. -
aww this made me feel all bubbly inside... I like the rhymes you put into it
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