The beautiful blossom falling from the trees,
reminds me of you and how you fell from me.
Your eyes beautiful like the incredible blossom,
your smile dazzling like the sun through the trees.
I miss you my love,
It's like constant winter with you not here.
Darkness and cold surround me.
I wish you were back to bring the summer,
to fill my world with your brightness again.
But you're not coming back,
you're leaving me trapped here,
scared and alone.
I love you so much.
Everytime i think of you it tears me apart,
I'd do anything to be with you right now.
Your promises broken.
Your love always hurting.
I'll never forget you.
A contest entry
- ~ SET the BAR ~ Anything Goes~ Possible of 5750 points handed out! by Florida Sunshine.
950 points, ended February 24, 2008, 182 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best by xorandomxo.
600 points, ended March 29, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In The Soul by whatever666.
600 points, ended April 15, 2008, 35 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What Hurts The Most by Ignis Corpus.
750 points, ended April 20, 2008, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sharing Seasons Without Warmth & Wonder~Quote & Colour Theme by Blue Rew.
1088 points, ended April 23, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and Whatever by fairytalelovestory.
875 points, ended September 14, 2008, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options~~ =) by Ti Amo Te Quiero.
360 points, ended October 10, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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The emotion is there for sure; you didn't spare the readers a single thread of your pain.
My only qualm was that, within the first 3 lines, you used the word "blossom" twice. I understand that it's the central metaphor of your poem, but repeating words so close together can be awkward. Possibly use 'flower', or a specific type, like "calla lily" to avoid weakening the poem as a whole.
In all, though, a decent effort. Well done, and thanks for entering!
Laura, aka Immortal
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this is such a beautifully writte3n piece of emeotion and reality. I know Im going to sound obsessive lol but it reminded me of when edward left bella in the forest. the emotion was so rich and it brought tears to my eyes as I read it. I know that if I was the person this was written about I would have been back in a heartbeat to mend the pain. beautifully written.
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very nice i can see why you like it
lol
hahahah -
awwww this is truely cute and beautiful, how you compared this girl to a blossom, awwww! lol
its hard to deal with losing sumone and missing them but youll get thought it 
xoxo- christina
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Truly expressive in love's painful side.
"Darkness and cold surround me" early on
in the verse gives an exact imagery of
a heart in anguish. Comparisons to seasons
are also apt in bringing visuals out.
I felt the opening two lines were the strongest.
With a bit of smoothing (flow was a bit choppy
due to the wide swings in syllable count); this
verse would intensify with each line rather than
just repeat what is already wonderfully expressed
in the beginning. Blue
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good
i like this although it doesnt have the best flow to it it would be nice within my contest it fits the criteria, i like it, although the other is still my fav -
Wonderful!
I really love the background that you picked out to go with your poem for it generates more as well as allows one to relate with the two of them combined togeather in such a good way ! Very nice poem........Brenda Gae
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oh wow, this great
wow emotional and very deep i wish i had this in my other contest Reminisce. thank you so much for your entry you not only opened your heart and soul but anyone who reads this. thanks again, and god bless -
Very emotional, giving a very clear image of what it is that you want to show other people. The use of a blossom in the context is exelent. Very well done m8.
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very nice poem.
thanks for entering.
good luck.
unbreakable♥ -
Passionate almost remorsefull
It speaks of deep despair for a love once held close to your heart, body and mind. Yet do remember that your soul is eternal and will rise above the seamingly endless pain for such a love that was lost yet knowningly not in vain.
Let your passion drive you to greater things here in this hell we call earth, where hearts are shattered at the speed of light in this here new fandangled world.
I like it, I like it so!
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wow you have some deep flowing love glowing in this poem i love the line your eyes beautiful like the incredable blossom
your smile dazzling like the sun through the trees i am sure who ever you miss feels it to keep your pen flowing
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this is really beautiful and descriptive
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This is a place we have all been at sometime in our life.... it started so beautifully and ended in such sadness... nicely done
Karen -
very sad write and who hasn't lived through this? we all have and it seems to take forever for the heart to heal. sometimes we have to put our pain down on paper... it helps us move on
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This has the yin and yang type feel to it ~ with the beauty of the blossoms ~ with the pain of what someone brings ~ in a relationship ~ Often when you love someone so deeply ~ it makes it hard to see past ~ maybe someone who will love you as deeply as you had once loved ~ I know this cause ~ I've let go of luv ~ turned my back on it ~ or even just push it away ~ knowing if I let it too close ~ I can be hurt ~ again....
Now, I know ~ I can't close my heart to everyone ~ Sad write ~ thanks so much for letting me read your work ~ I really do appreciate you entering the "Set the bar" contest ~ best of luck to you -
sorry i know this is shit i just needed to write
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