I'm failing to feel the storyline this time;
there goes all point of view.
If you start to lose all hope,
open your wrists; let it go.
Everyday is a fact I'm trying to prove
to you, plucking buttons like flowers.
Out of ink or pages?
It makes all the difference;
boarding orbits to back here.
Love is just a magic trick,
sawing you in half for public entertainment.
I'm stealing all the things you lack,
half the man you were then,
is all you're going to be.
Author notes
To the Casanovas of the world, here is your literary advice.
A contest entry
- Broken inspiration. In desperate need of repair. by filledwithstardust.
750 points, ended February 5, 2008, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I'll put it to you like this ....
Every guy isn't a casanova...I know thats not what you're trying to tell
but I'm telling it to you like this
And the fact that advice can change a man?No.It doesn't work
It's prolly pseudo-attitude which he shows just to make both the ends meet..
Coming to the poem
You seem to rely on the past too much and you let it hold the cards of the future...
The poem is more or less a standing example for closemindedness..
You literally personify it..
I'm not commenting on the way your poem is written..but the way you actually mean it -
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Haha, see, it isn't meant for all those girl-getters, just the ones who lose all their self respect and don't care about the hearts they break as long as they get some action.
Closeminded-ness? Hmmm, I would use the term 'opinion', but I have to apply the same term to your comment. Haha. And that's why it's 'literary advice'. You can read it, you don't need to take it in.
And it's not past, it's the present. And I read futures.
=)
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Fantastic!! I love this line here "boarding orbits to back here". Oh my oh my this is a great freakin' line. I love the uncertainty of the entire piece. I love not knowing where you were gonna go with it. Thanks so much for sharing. Love and Peace, Charlene.
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I liked how every line seemed to be something new and well thought out. It's a different approach than a lot o f what I've read here is, which is valuable.
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Thanks a lot! =D
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I really like this! The last stanza is my favorite. "Love is just a magic trick". It's a very honest poem. You've made a point in a short poem. Short but awesome.
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Thanks! =)
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