Keep the silence,
hold your peace.
You know if your
mouth opens,
it will spew
forth nothingness.
Vacuous eyes
absorb little
of the light.
Blinded by lies
and grandiose dreams.
Truth withers away.
You're screaming
without creating a noise.
Crying tears of sand.
Who will listen?
Who will dare?
To speak of the atrocities?
To speak out against
abuse of all flavor?
Truth withers away
No, you prefer blinders.
Not wanting to view what's
clear and present.
Shame, is prefering fantasy
to the reality.
While others die for
your comforts.
Truth, just withers away.
In a list
A contest entry
- Option Use these lines by Stormy Days.
360 points, ended February 3, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Grr, I've faced sons of abusers, and they preferred fantasy over the reality. One also happened to be an abuser himself, runs in the family I think, at times anyway.
This is a great notion and I love it, I saw your contest and don't think I could enter and match like greatness. A Little promoting isn't bad
A title to me seems obvious, however I can't add to it I don't think, not so much in the writing mindset lately. Hopefully you get some great entries.
Love,
Ya lil freaky niece.
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This poem tells the truth in sparse, acerbic lines. Great images, a scream we can see, even if we can't hear it. I'm a little uncomfortable with the change of voice in the last stanza ("you" to "we") but I'm not sure how you'd make your point without it. An excellent response to to the prompt.
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Great
Great job. Really seeps into you. Keep it up. -
i like it, you did a fantasic job on this, keep it flowing
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Best baby daughter, this is rather good.
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All of it
I can't do it. Spell it out in so few words. Minimize, innoculize, make it a poem. If you leave out everything you wanted to say it becomes something of value. You caught the verbage, you caught the style. You said every thing in less than a hundred miles. I can't fit myself in the bags the contests creates. You caught the whole thing! The first stanza is the dynamic. The best I can offer is that I wish I had written it. Damn! And I never cuss. Just ask my wife. Sceaming without creatin a noise, perhaps you are the real deal. Silly me, you already knew that. RC
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I apologize for returning to you featured poem again. I will be most happy to return the lost points if you tell me how. Shancy.
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What I like most about this extremely creative poem is what it stands for. You have some great imagery and metaphors in this piece. Good work. Shancy,
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crying tears of sand!!!! what a powerful metaphor. I love your stylistic flow and the emotive appeal. Continue to write from the heart!
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Desi;
I am in awe of this and a little freaked...lol
I was toying not long ago with this very same title and thinking about writing something with it..lol
Good luck in the contest
~Brother K~
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I like
Good imagery throughout. Good use of metaphors. The only critique I have to offer is that I didn't care for the "no." I think it reads better and flows better without. But that's personal preference. -
Unfortunatly so true in todays soiciety, therefore a piece based on reality.
To the point and well done as a contemporary piece!
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wow this is really good what option did u use?
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