With time the knowledge might show

I wonder
and nothing ever answers me.
I imagine
and everything crashes down around me.

I have knowledge that I shouldn't,
  one of which I do not wish to bear.
  one I do not wish to hold.
Strength is holding me together.

  I am all I have now.

I put my cards in one hand,
and now I know why I should be the dealer.
  I shared too much and now it's just me.

Yet,
I have knowledge that I shouldn't.
A part of me is still connected
  without even me wanting it or needing it.
It's just knowledge that I bear within me.
    An instinct. A thought. A breathe.

Nothing can mend without time.

I am my only knight
  no other could stand to protect me,
  they crawled away in prideful misery.
I am my only angel,
  except those who stand with me,
  the ones who have the strength as I.

I am me and I'm not letting go.
  I won't let life condemn me.
  I won't stop fate, if need be.

In time there could be something,
in time a knight could come.

Right now I am alone
and it's not as bad as it seems.
Knowledge is the killer.