If only
war was obsolete
bloodshed forever halted
chemicals never inhaled
in lungs of little ones.
If only
food was ever abundant
humans malnourished bodies
spiny and bloated bellies
a thing never witnessed.
If only
parents never divorced
lust breaking chains of marriage
children feeling at fault and lost
moving between two homes.
If only
the bottle was never ingested
dizzy heads never got behind the wheel
drunken enraged fathers
hitting their wives and children
If only
greed was just a myth
money a worthless mass
instead happiness and love
the true signs of success
If only
the world would wake up
and start to fix her problems
instead of just observing them
and staying forever silent.
A contest entry
- A breath of peace - Poem inspired Contest by forever dreaming.
1000 points, ended February 2, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pick a TITLE and write.. Very simple!! by Angierie.
700 points, ended February 23, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Vietnam Big Points by BuriedTreasures.
6000 points, ended August 11, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Speak out! by Luna Argintie.
930 points, ended September 9, 2008, 205 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1509 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I can relate to your thoughts and agree with your sentiments, but this contest is about Vietnam in particular.
Thank you for your entry. -
Wowie! Zowie!
This is incredibly potent & powerful! Really loved this write. The emotion is right up front & palpable. I don't know what else to say. You didn't miss a beat, touched all the bases & touched my heart deeply. I need to take a full cleansing breath & wind down for now. This was so dramatic it took the last wind out of me for the day. Bravo for this!
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This one gives us all a reality check. You did well expressing youself here.
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Although I feel you have a really strong piece of poetry here I feel that it has somewhat strayed away from the brief of the contest. Yes, I see where you are coming from but what I was looking was more about what the poem I uncluded said to you about Ireland, how you interpreted it. However your poem has a very powerful message behind it and for that I am giving you 3 applauses
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ahhhh really really good.... loved it... the assonance in the fourth to last line was a little bit difficult to say... kinda slowed the flow of it... but other than that it was really good!
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