would you mind if i died a little inside?
right here, right now for the whole world to view?
or would it be better if i did it private and tried to hide?
what does it matter the feeling is nothing new...
my parade has and will forever be rained upon
and my clouds will 24/7 /365 be gray
my mind is frazzled and too far gone
to give a damn today.
would you mind if i just stayed here (e)motionless...?
my feelings arent worth your pity
set my spirits on fire and watch the flames
set my heart ablaze
and watch me sink into oblivion...
gleaming smiles and precious lies are all that
you are used to, why change my lifestyle now
to fit your needs, when you and i know that i'm
better of the broken thing that you never see before you
would it kill me to live a little?
A contest entry
- silent screams we make by moonburndcheese.
300 points, ended February 4, 2008, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn those greenies into Gold (or silver or bronze) Pt. 3 by whispernthedark.
435 points, ended March 1, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
love it or hate it, i could care less sometimes! ^_^
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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If you had kept the rhyme scheme of the first stanza it could sound like a song, but overall a very good read
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this is really good =]
the flow is really good. and the word choice.
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This was good...nice message to and had a nice amount of emotion behind it.
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This is an awesome write once again very deep. I like it a lot. I is really great keep up the awesome work.
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This is a great write, I love your parting line. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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fabulous job on this
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So inspiring and touching!!!
Love it so much...keep up the great work. -
this is a good poem strong emotion is shown so many times i to feel the same... my favorite part was "my feelings arent worth your pity set my spirits on fire and watch the flames set my heart ablaze and watch me sink into oblivion" thank you for entering
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