freedom trapped
by bars and space
of love and leave
sealed lips hold
contraband secrets
traded idly for cigarettes…
but I'll never
drop my soap
A contest entry
- twenty five by AJ Morelli.
2500 points, ended February 16, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Where does it take you?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I just reread this and yes, I really like it. LOVE it. Wonderful word choices. Powerful. And here are the clappy people I forgot to give you before.
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interesting
this can be taken a lot of ways, fear of the trap becoming the trap..and if you drop the soap, who else is in the shower?
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Wow!
I just love a succinct and powerful poem such as this. Had to LOL at the last two lines. I like the title as well...multiple meanings such as physically confined and thus guarded by others and also guarding oneself in terms of how much to reveal of yourself to others. Nicely done. -
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There are some parts of ourselves that maybe we never show to other people... in part it's those things that make us who we are, but it is also those secrets that prevent us from ever fully knowing anyone.
It's also a gentle reminder (mostly to myself) to laugh at myself... perhaps WITH myself. The last two lines just kinda came out, and I had to keep them.
I find that many of my pieces are short. I find they have more impact... and ironically, they take me longer to craft than the longer rambling ones.
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snout
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there is something about this i like...
al
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