Mother dear what do you cry for,
I'm old enough to go to war.
I'm still your child, yet now a man;
I'll serve my country best I can.
Oh mother, please, they say you weep
When safe at home, my brothers sleep.
It really isn't all that bad.
Please give my best to dear old dad.
Mother, you remember Jim?
It's been three days since I've seen him.
They say he stepped on enemy mine,
He lost his leg, but he'll be fine.
Now Pete - my friend from down the street,
Who always stumbled on his feet -
Spooked a patrol out on the roam,
He died, and now he's coming home.
Today we stormed their sea and land;
Which gave our troops the upper hand.
Forgive the blood, it's just a nick.
I'll be like new, I'm sure, real quick.
We won today. The feeling's great!
I have to go, though, it's getting late.
So mother dear, this is goodbye...
P.S. They say that I might die.
A contest entry
- Anything goes. by Perfectly Imperfect.
300 points, ended February 12, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Took a lot of chutzpah to go after something like war, Ruth.
I see this post ended on the 12th, Lincoln's Birthday.
I don't believe he, the soldier, died, look how much paper is left in this binder!
Very good job here.
John
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I laughed at the last line.
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This is a really good piece of writing. Very well written, I like the rhyme. It's a touching piece, very sad. The postscript really brings it home. Well done and thank you for entering
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Darn you Ruth now why did you put in that last line? Some post script. no really it finished off this piece wonderfully well. as it when along with the carefree attitude of the writer.Though i am sure its not the sort of letter mother would welcome Excellent
Oh and to Edna I doubt those who join the Salvation Army expect to die
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People who join armies must expect to die.
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what a profound comment
That's a little like saying that people who drive cars must expect to die isn't it...I belive your ratio is a bit higher for driving a car than joining the army! -
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No Ruth. You are totally wrong. People join the Armed Forces in order to have the chance to KILL people legally. That's why they do it. They love to KILL. They accept that they stand a chance of being killed themselves but that's part of the excitement for these MORONS. People do NOT drive cars because they enjoy the fact that they might run over a pedestrian. Get Real, Ruthy.
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So very touching. Your rhyme and flow are perfect. I think you have done a great job portraying something that so many people have to go through every day. I really liked this piece
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Oh wow this is so heart touching,so powerful and beautiful,made me cry,you may like my poems Our American Flag and Real American Hero,Hazel
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I am a soldier, and will be going to basic Jun 20th, so I had a curiousity about this poem
First stanza made me realize that for and war rhyme.
Damn, this sounds like what I'm going to be writing to my mom in about a year. And I like it.
Is it ok if I put this in my favorites?, in a list I have for other people's poems
Where did you get inspiration for this? Is your son or realative in the war or something like that?
Message me if you don't want to give your identy during the duration of the contest. -
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Dan,
Please feel free to put this in your favorites. I wish you all the best in your career as a soldier. God bless you for being willing to stand up for your country. May you be safe.
As for the inspiration...it was inspired by all those lives lost to keep our country free.
Ruth
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Well done!
But what a chilling ending. The use of rhyme and meter with this (which is done very well) is stark counterpoint (does that make sense?...contrast?) to the serious tone of the piece. Best of luck in the contest.
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