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A Moonlit Reverie

I sit along the water's edge watching
the darkening tides begin rolling in,
as the quiet pale moonlight shivers still
upon caressing early evening waves.

No gallant screams, from the lurking seagulls
circling over,  for a fast food handout.
life takes no notice of an empty beach,
I hear beneath the moonlit tides, a sea.

My mind traces the crowds at day, to roam
along the narrows, where the poor men stroll.
In lines for soup and bread, a meal that's hot.
Served by thankless good souls, distilled in time.

The water laps greedily the loose sand
remembering cradles rocking so unplanned.

 

Author notes

I used this to compare the natural sea to a sea of people, and in such reguards homeless, less fortunate than I. I am poor, yet there is a roof above my head for now... Hope this fits the bill, I know you said meterless, yet I noticed after I had a decasyllibic pattern going on here...lol oops.

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • paperparadox silver member
    February 18, 2008

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    You have cleverly captured the essential barrier that the sea creates between landmasses to symbolise the separation of the down-and-outs from society. Nicely done, with some good images in there.

    An enjoyable read, and best of luck in the contest...


  • Sandal
    February 17, 2008

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    I like "the narrows, where the poor men stroll", and the general idea. The couplet is strongly said - unwanted, unplanned children, with no chance to prosper. "Watching", "darkening", etc verb forms could be simplified - there are many of them in this continuous time frame. This poem makes a strong statement, well done.


  • Lady Altheia
    February 15, 2008

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    There are many in the sea of people. Some chose to ignore them. I acknowledge they are there. We all have to work hard to keep roofs over our heads. Some of the homeless just give up and don't want to help themselves. Some get back up on their feet.


  • masterblaster gold member
    February 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Hi, a very nice write my friend, Di


  • suseann
    January 30, 2008

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    Deeply compassionate well thought out and expertly scribed Sonnet.It reads smooth as melting slow butter. Nice work Poet!


  • Lowell Poe
    January 29, 2008

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    ....To roam along the narrows,
    where the poor men stroll...

    Our less fortunate brothers and sisters.
    The first stanza truly is beautiful.
    Then it develops into a serene stream of intriguing philosophical dream like thoughts.
    I thought it was just like walking along with someone while they shared their wonderful perception of the world they see.
    Written in grand style my friend.

    BLESSINGS ALWAYS,
    LOWELL POE

1 - 6 of 6