Met you just last summer.
We fought right at the start.
We lived next door to each other
in two weeks you had my heart.
Inseparable from then on
hand in hand we'd go.
Fell deeper everyday.
Oh boy, I love you so.
But coming home late one night
too fast you took the curve
with a box in your pocket
airing it out, to get up the nerve.
The car rolled over two times.
You were then thrown free.
The ambulance dispatched quickly.
They found you near a tree.
The drivers rushed right to you.
"In my pocket, there's a ring."
"Please make sure you give it to her."
Then quietly said, "I hear the angels sing."
Your head was bleeding badly.
You went unconscious and so near death.
They worked so hard to save you.
But then you took your last breath.
They told me the awful news
of how my love did end.
Gave me the ring from his pocket.
My heart will never mend.
A love like no other.
Love can be so blind.
I'll never love another.
There's no more love to find.
Author notes
ahhh..it came to me..must work on the flow sometime..but my muse is done for now..hehe..
A contest entry
- PREWRITES!!!!!! by Luminescence.
450 points, ended March 5, 2008, 69 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
This is heartbreaking and very well rhymed. Well done!!!!
-
-
thank you so much for your kind comment...
very much appreciated..
blessings,
robin
-
-
How Tragic!!
This is so sad. I like the style and the rhyme. You can visualize the events of the accident and death. Good job!
-
This is so beutifuly written. It really touches my heart and paints a vivid picture, seeing the story unfold. Fantastic.
Lanivity
-
Oh my God, this is one of the BEST poems that I have read in such a LONG time... this is perfect.... I love the emotion that you protray in it and the best thing about it was that the inspiration just came to you and that is didn't really happen to you..... thats always good...
Good luck in the contest
~Lumin -
Legend captured my thoughts too on this one! A heart breaking piece. Well done sis xxx
-
Such a sad piece pleased to know it was your muse that wrote this and not a personal experience.I am reminded of a song from my youth called "Tell Laura I love Her"
Richie Valens
Excellent
-
-
you are telling your age my friend..hehe..thanx so much for the kind comment...hugs a bunch..
namaste,
r
-
-
It would make a good song - it's a good work in progress - story telling in poetry seems the hardest when you look round here, i think you have done well, really well, change the font to white though!
The ability to pull something from thin air is one i admire, you're always different.
James
xx
-
-
thanx so much for your words of encouragement James..hugs a bunch..
blessed be always,
r
-
-
Nicely done .. You are right about the flow in a few places, but overall it reads quite easily.
-
-
Colin,
thanx for your kind comment..from a master like you..that means something..
hugs a bunch my dear friend,
namaste,
r
-
-
emotional piece
Oh Dear Robin, what a loving write. Great penn and flow. Thanx 4 sharing!
-
awww. this made me almost cry. i finished a book today about a girl who found love and she was afraid to admit it. i guess we take love for granted sometimes and that is sad. i love this piece. great write mom. it is one of many marvelous ones you have wrote.
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
