Coming from the edge
of crowded, winter wood
when all was crystal-covered,
rigid hedges of twig
thrust me forward
toward an open place
barren of all but bounteous beauty
interrupted . . .
Someone had crossed this meadow
with deep, imposing steps
that wed the virgin snow
once laced only with her own majestic grace—
now marked to last
with intrusion’s first, amorous impression.
Is it best for snow to sigh,
awaiting blessed perfection
in spread of passion’s hollow acre
‘til winter fades away in spinster death?
or to smile her almost smile,
at least having known the touch
of footprints?
Author notes
Picture::- I_love_you by geckokid @ deviantart.com
In a list
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A contest entry
- “Beauty is not caused. It is.” Emily Dickinson by Naridill.
1750 points, ended February 1, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From January 2008 by Amaranthine Lover.
2550 points, ended February 22, 60 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Celebrating Gold by Cupcrazy.
1400 points, ended May 13, 39 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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another excellent piece Ten-I think footprints in snow gives function to form -a pretty picture you paint-peace
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A total beauty of a piece. You have such a way with a phrase, it caresses the mind and makes love to the lips. I love this piece it feels like a snowflake caught, to disappear upon the fingers and yet leaves its uniqueness imprinted upon the soul of memory. Thank you for your exquisite entry. Hugs, Bunny
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wow amazing your a REALLY GOOD WRITER
i got very vivid picture
and there were beautiful pics too
thank you for sharing
keep on writing -
this is a beautiful write
it is a different way to look at the mark off footprints left
on onbes heart
and it leaves the reader with beautiful images
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A very individual inspiring piece, I love the way you capture the short time we hold the snow laiden lands and the comparison to the loss of a once loved spinster...Bravo, very clever! Kindest thoughts and wishes, Anna-Marie
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I find your interpretation of this piece interesting, and not unlike some of the other readers' interpretations. I meant the idea of "spinster death" to represent becoming old and lonely while waiting for some unreachable, perfect love that never comes. The other option is to allow someone to love you, to allow them to intrude upon that pristine idea and leaving their mark upon your life. In that scenario, you love, yes, but it is not that perfect ideal that you dream of. So the poem is not about having loved and lost. It is about choosing an unreachable ideal, or a lesser but tangible love represented by the footprints.
Thanks so very much for stopping by my poem. I always appreciate your visits and your nice comments. Thanks. Anna.
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Well done, and thank you for coming back to me that I might re-read with renewed enlightenment as to the thoughts behind your words. Reading again it is the words of intrusion and inposing that stand clear to define your interpretation. I appologise for missing this first time over, but your final stanza stood so very strong on its own - I guess it was what I reflected on most....Enjoyed and worthy of a re-read as are many of your works.
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this is quite a lovely piece
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Powerful!
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I think it is best to know the step of footprints. Once again the depth of your insights is found layered in great metaphor. Winter makes for great muse, no?
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yo check dis i be readin yos poem and i says me likes me likes
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Absolutely gorgeous verse. The imagery is so very pristine and your use of language sound exquisite (as always).
I like the way you transition with the last line of the fist stanza. Only one word "interupted" yet the way you place it by itself and tabbed over adds so much the effect of its denotion. It's as if you are viewing (taking in) all this breath taking beauty and then your gaze comes accross this disturbance unexpectedly. Really brilliant word choice and placement.
There is a profound sense of longing in this piece. It's palpable yet all drawn from the perspective of the snow. This has a distancing effect that makes the emotion safe to experience for the reader. It makes the emotion very intimate and deep yet detached from any specific person or event. In this way the metaphor speaks with all the intended emotion (which can be experieced to the full) without the poem becoming weepy or self pitious.
What can I say? This is absolutely beautifully written and is another example of your boundless talent as a writer.
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Total beauty within the depth of imagery you portray borders on an intrusion of nature itself. A most unusual take.
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I love this congrats to you on the silver...Emily would be envious of such spinster death of winter...the though of blush inside February's embarrassment...shuch poetry here...
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Lovely write from the striking prompt. I especially enjoyed "wed the virgin snow...with...amorous impression," "winter fades away in spinster death." and "having known the touch of footprints." Lovely reflection, the contrasting merits of awaiting perfection and embracing imperfection.
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Reaction 10/10
Originality 9/10
Creativity 10/10
Line-breaks/emphasis/flow 10/10
Poetic device/verbiage 10/10
Ideas/metaphors/imagery 10/10
Cohesion 10/10
Understandable/makes sense 10/10
Title 9/10
Overall poetic effort 5/5
Emotion/personality/edge 4/5
97/100
A stunning piece!
Thank you
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Ten, this is stunning.
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Reaction 10/10
Originality 8/10
Creativity 10/10
Line-breaks/emphasis/flow 10/10
Poetic device/verbiage 10/10
Ideas/metaphors/imagery 10/10
Cohesion 10/10
Understandable/makes sense 10/10
Title 9/10
Overall poetic effort 5/5
Emotion/personality/edge 4/5
96/100
Beautiful, soft and painful in places. Something everything within beauty and more. I love the direction - metaphors and the phrasing. You have grasped not only a personal level but relative and beauty.
Thanks for entering,
Mark will be around to comment soon.
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Brilliant
Brilliantly conveyed, a take on 'it is better to have loved..than never..' but how you have expressed this the imagery 'deep imposing steps' 'wed the virgin snow' but now 'marked' but how profound, 'best for snow to sigh' 'at least having known the touch'. These footprints on the heart, have now 'marked to last' but left an 'amorous impression' remaing hopeful for 'blessed perfection'. I loved the imagery, with 'crystal-covered' and snow, symbolises the purity, that was, until 'someone crossed this meadow' clearly leaving a lasting impression. Wonderfully penned, your choice of words, the arrangement and the imagery brillliantly conveyed this experience but used it as a taster for better to come. Glad I read this, all love Lib x x
. Rewarded 8
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Is it best for snow to sigh,
awaiting blessed perfection
in spread of passion’s hollow acre
‘til winter fades away in spinster death?
or to smile her almost smile,
at least having known the touch
of footprints?
Wonderfully deep, quite imaginative..very well penned..fantastic question to ask..
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a very nice impressionistic flow...lovel
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this is an incredible write you've done here...
the imagery in this stanza... wow
Coming from the edge
of crowded, winter wood
when all was crystal-covered,
rigid hedges of twig
thrust me forward
toward an open place
barren of all but bounteous beauty
interrupted . . .
keep on penning!
mike, aka jonathan wikkins -
This is very, how can i put it, vivid and i can actually feel the snow in the forest.its deep.
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lovely, deeply brilliant of description
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wow well done that is a really brilliant poem you have so much talent and i wish i could write as well as you clearly can
well done again -
Interesting. It tells quite a story..
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A journey
I think that you wrote very nicley. I enjoyed reading your poem and look forward to reading more of them. I like how the snow sighs
. Rewarded 4
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