there you are, your beautiful eyes twinkling in the light, you carry on past me with a beautiful smile that takes my breath away, you keep on walking, walk into his arms, away from mine, leaving me, in my darkness, to my own thoughts.
i sit alone at night, thinking of you, your hair so perfect, your eyes so blue and deep, like an ocean, your smile so new, so exciting. You love me i swear but you'll never know because you are so in love with him.
The feeling inside is the worst i have ever felt, i'm so quiet now, you drift further into his heart and every second further away from mine. At last i cry, i will never stop, i cry for hours, i feel sleep will help and when i sleep all i know is a feeling digging at my heart, the piece that has torn away with you.
We always sit together and talk, you tell me about him, how he makes you feel so great, so perfect, that isn't hard because you are, i hear the words echoing in my head straining to come out but they don't i sit and nod and try to feel happy for your sake.
I want to run, run forever, away from this, and i don't want anyone to be there, except you, you and me alone, forever, i swear if you let me hold you i would never let go, you would be mine forever like you should be, i can and do love you more than is possible from him.
I wish you were mine, but maybe you will be, one day, i'll be forever in the curtains, waiting, waiting just for you, my love eternally strong, it will never be too late, i swear.
Author notes
author name e d w a r d c u l l e n 1
A contest entry
- Give me a [ 2 ] heartbeat catastrophe {watching you love her} by CatastrophicSmile.
500 points, ended January 31, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Can't Run Anymore, I Fall Before You by tigress3737.
400 points, ended January 29, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken Love (The Deeper the Love Goes, the Deeper the Knife Stabs) by DarkLotus4Life..
300 points, ended February 9, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~ SET the BAR ~ Anything Goes~ Possible of 5750 points handed out! by Florida Sunshine.
950 points, ended February 24, 2008, 182 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You Decide Who Wins. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
525 points, ended February 13, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best by xorandomxo.
600 points, ended March 29, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Poetry Options by RX-Queen.
375 points, ended February 19, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hello By Evanescence by XXCrimsonRaineXX.
1050 points, ended March 6, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - several choices by theflamepoetess.
450 points, ended April 23, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Getting Over Your Dearest by Wilted Rose Bush.
600 points, ended April 21, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling ALL Poets! ~ A Poetry Extraveganza by Shassidy.
475 points, ended July 18, 2008, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options~~ =) by Ti Amo Te Quiero.
360 points, ended October 10, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the seven deadly sins. by the.art.of.drowning.
900 points, ended September 13, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Looking for some men in my family:) by thearmsofsorrow.
400 points, ended December 7, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - DO I KNOW YOU??? IF NOT, SHOULD I??? by delightfulmess.
600 points, ended September 19, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - i dont know by VerminVomit.
702 points, ended September 14, 2008, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Such a Painful Love by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended September 27, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wanna be in my family? by miss-princess.
300 points, ended September 24, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Love Title Options. by Poetryintheblood.
525 points, ended October 9, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewite Contest by T.o.r.t.u.r.e..
475 points, ended April 2, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your favourite poem! by forbidden-colour.
550 points, ended July 8, 142 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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Yes, good content but the title was like a marathon! I thought it was the equivelent of five poems on my to do list!
Thank you for entering!
x -
So perfect a read. I liked it alot.
Favorite lines:
"i sit alone at night, thinking of you, your hair so perfect, your eyes so blue and deep, like an ocean, your smile so new, so exciting. You love me i swear but you'll never know because you are so in love with him.
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
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wow. this sounds exactly like....wow. i love this. and yeah she does love u. she'll realize it one day <3
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"We always sit together and talk, you tell me about him, how he makes you feel so great, so perfect, that isn't hard because you are, i hear the words echoing in my head straining to come out but they don't i sit and nod and try to feel happy for your sake."
So many of us have been here before, and it never gets any easier. You summed it up so perfectly, bravo!
best wishes in the contest!
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Thank you for your heartfelt write, and one I can relate to, good luck in my contest, Josie
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awesome
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love is harsh...but she'll either come around or...there is someone else better for you.
Still...well done, well written, well said, emotional...you transmitted your feeling.
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Hmmm... While this is more a monologue than poetry, you have done well with it. Love isn't easy, and I know how you feel; as the contest you won gold in says, the deeper love goes, the deeper the knife stabs.
My only suggestion would be keeping an eye on your grammar and spelling. It only takes a couple seconds to proofread your work, so I highly recommend that you do. But the emotion is there, and that's the important part.
Thanks for entering, and good luck!
Laura, aka Immortal
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This is a very heart felt poem. I really can feel your emotion and that is not always easy to convey. I believe you may want to break it up a bit just to make it look more like a poem.
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hi, this is a great write. who did u want to be in my family?
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Hi there!
Lovely piece. I think that it may because others relate to it so well.
I will admit that had this been mine, I would
have either placed it in another category "Love Letters", or changed the format so that it would indeed 'look' and have the kind of 'language' that
a poem has. Fewer words, substituted with a few
different 'artful' terms.
Otherwise, we thank you for joining and posting
this.
Warmly, CookieZeal
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Thank you so much for entering this beautiful
pros into my contest.
Delila -
this is such a beautiful write that made me smile and think as I was reading it. you have taken care to use poetical devices that captures the emotion and meaning and to capture the readers mind and heart. I was truly captured by this piece. well done
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thank you so much for the compliments, it means a lot
x
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this is so sweet
i love it
jonny aye?
who would you like to be in my ap famliy?
x -
this poem is beautiful
congrats on ur gold too! "there you are, your beautiful eyes twinkling in the light, you carry on past me with a beautiful smile that takes my breath away, you keep on walking, walk into his arms, away from mine, leaving me, in my darkness, to my own thoughts." this is my fav part n its so sad 
love it tho
xoxo- christina
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to put a fave part in this box would be pointless
the poem itself was amazing!
i see why you got the gold, keep on with your writeing you have so much talent and a great use of words loved much
endless -
"I want to run, run forever, away from this, and i don't want anyone to be there, except you, you and me alone, forever, i swear if you let me hold you i would never let go, you would be mine forever..."
(favorite part. Absolutely flawless.)
I love it. It's beautiful and the format is unique.
The content is so heartfelt, too... and I think that we can all relate.
Well penned, poet, this is an awesome write.
~QoA
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Very heartfelt...
Congrats on the Gold!
Write on!
*PEACE*
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wow!
this is soo beautiful!!! i could feel the love u had for this gurl! sorry u felt this way. hope u dont ever again.
all in all, its really good! ^_^ -
this is good i like it, best of luck to u
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I really like this... I think you did a good job at convying the feelings of loving someone who has no idea you love them.... gratz on the great write...
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I like it in general but it doesn't have the feel of a poem to me. Good job though.
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i think you and i have something in common. i too love someone who knows that i love her, yet is always looking for what i have to offer from someone else. what a heart breaker
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this was a really good write. and i really loved all of the emotion, and the meaning behind the poem. and i could kind of relate.
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wow.
amazing write.
thanks for entering.
good luck.
unbreakable♥ -
this is a very powerful piece. the descriptiveness makes it easy to relate to how you are feeling, great job
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Very Creative and a Good Use of Talent
I really like this poem alot and I love your use of talent. This should be published and I think it should be as soon as possible. You got talent that others need to read. Keep up the good work and you'll be one of the best poets this world has to offer. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.
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Oh my gosh, this is so beautiful and so deep. I know this feeling of loving someone and they love another, not knowing you love them. You try to be happy for them even though you are miserable. I know that feeling well.
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Such emotion in this piece! Awe how wonderfl for you to share this with us! Thank you so much!
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Nice write ~ its very passionate ~ clearly you can see why you got a shiney trophy ~ congrats !!!
Thanks you for entering the "Set the bar" contest ~ I wish you the best of luck ~ I Do appreciate you sharing your work with me. -
Amazing write. it's so full of emotion, ad I could really relate to it. I know how that canfeel.
I love it. -
awesome
i can relate this to one person but if he agrees idont know.
I think its brilliantly portrayed and great words written. No critism from me
This caught me as its powerful, lots of feelings. Great Work
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Very powerful and sincere poem. I could definitely see the love and utter devotion. Great job and thanks for entering
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