Let it Out

Grab the box of Kleenex
and tell us your life story.
Conceived on Penny Lane,
born a baby girl,
a miracle in my parents' world.
Growing faster than a weed
amongst the sagebrush and the mountains,
starting out with sentences,
and running before walking.
Big blue eyes, and little blonde pigtails,
wearing jelly bean shorts
my mom sewed herself.
Blowing away dandelions
and playing with the puppies-
some days, I really miss simple times like these.
Listening to Joy School tapes,
and cutting construction paper shapes,
Kyle Noorlander eating glue sticks. . .
and the occasional candy wrapper.
I'll never forget AJ and me
in my Barbie roller skates,
cruising through my kitchen,
and crashing on the floor.
Our moms and dads would all get together,
drinking and dancing,
having a great time.
We kids would run and laugh
until we thought our lungs would burst.
No one ever wanted to go home.
School started, singing ABC's
and writing letters.
Mom and Dad found God,
and we moved into the white house
across the street.
Church every Sunday,
pulling straight A's,
I was off to a great start.
Fourth grade came
and homework was suddenly getting lost,
math skills were down the drain.
I asked Dad to explain,
and all I got was yelling.
I never asked for homework help again.
I was the smart kid with slipping grades,
and that's what I remained.
In high school,
I was never the cool kid,
but I was nice,
and that's all that mattered.
I guess being the fat kid
taught me the art of sensitivity.
Abuse had grown at home-
dad was gone for the second time,
and I was happy to see him leave,
but he returned,
following me down the hall at school,
catching up to me,
hands around my throat,
and slapping my face
in front of my peers.
Mom and I filed for safety,
pressed charges for assault,
and we were on our own.
She was sick,
and stress didn't help.
I'm just glad to know
she found love.
We kept each other going,
through sickness,
hospital stays,
no heat, no water,
and sometimes no groceries.
We shed lots of tears,
and shared lots of laughter,
and overcame obstacles
together.
Finally, fate smiled,
and we had the chance to move.
New city, new lives,
and new opportunity.
I found a job,
I loved with all my heart.
I worked hard,
like Mom had taught me to,
and we were comfortable at last.
Our happiness was short-lived,
as her sickness soon took over,
and she was suddenly gone.
The most important figure in my life
had slipped away as quickly as a shadow,
but her impression
burned into me.
I am her-
but I am me.
On my own,
alone,
working towards something-
what? I don't yet know.
Life has pressed and tested me,
at times, taking away my sanity,
but, hey, I've got a dreamer's disease,
and no one to please,
but myself.

Let it out.