The phone rings-
And I answer...
never suspecting
my world was about to be shattered.
The voice on the other end-
twisted, in pain...
I'm speechless, all thoughts vanish
emptiness- nothing else mattered.
My life, a fractured prism,
reflections now changed forever
Unbidden, tears fall...a kaleidoscope of colors, memories ever changing
The squeak of shoes,
and cart wheels
along the cold, dirty linoleum
dimly penetrate my mind
while the sound of weeping,
and hushed cadence of voices
assault my ears
providing instant recognition...
My shining star- now rests, dying embers of luminescence
Unblinking eyes- stare,
transfixed by the screen
the eternal ebb, and flow
of time, passes excruciatingly slow...
each beat- slower
than the last,
twists our insides, steals our breath...
each gasp, each shudder- brings you closer
to release- desperately we cling to hope....unwilling
to acquiesce to fate as
the inevitable embrace of death
awaits...
Sweetly beckoning to you- that dreaded onyx spectre
As the beep
beep
beeping- continues
to fade, to one
last sigh..
Suffer even our souls- tonight, this anguish
Your precious life-
once so cherished,
now abbreviated
by sickness
slips, silently away
into the darkness,
unknown.
Author notes
My catharsis...or at least my hopeful catharsis...losing ones mother...is hard as hell to cope with...
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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There is such reality in this piece. It smacks at a fear that we have felt at one time or another, some first hand, others knowing at some time that other shoe will drop.
I sympathize and dislike the feelings that eminate from this....which only shows you how great it is!
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It is a fear I wish I'd not have had to of come face to face with as of yet in life...something that tears one's soul apart..watching their mother suffer...a once shining star...lying there a broken shell of what once was...Thank You for taking the time to stop in and read this, and to comment..glad you "enjoyed" it so to speak
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This is good!
I loved it! <3 -
wow
This piece was amazing. ....
"The phone rings-
And I answer...
never suspecting
my world was about to be shattered.
The voice on the other end-
twisted, in pain...
I'm speechless, all thoughts vanish
emptiness- nothing else mattered.
My life, a fractured prism,
reflections now changed forever."
....I think it is aweing (I don't really know if that's the right word here) that life can change in just a moment....like everything is fine and the poof, you're whole world changes...and the rest can be a blur.
You conveyed that idea, and the subsequent pain and sorrow of that idea so well in this poem. It's a fluid piece that shows true pain...
I think this has become one of my favorites on AP.
thanks for writing something so true, in such a beautifully tragic way!
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very nice write...emotional expression is very deep...
my favourite lines:
My life, a fractured prism,
reflections now changed forever
very well written...thank you
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Very suspensful and I could easily see this turned into a full blown story. You may consider that, just a thought. Good job
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I could feel the hurt throughout your poem...very well written. I like this image you use "My life, a fractured prism,
reflections now changed forever" this line alone sums up the feelings we can all relate to when having lost someone dear to us. You did a great job at bringing the poem around at the end, thanks for sharing -
'Your precious life-
once so cherished,
now abbreviated
by sickness
slips, silently away
into the darkness,
unknown.'
what a fantastic stanza.
you have a fanastiic talent for writing dark, thoughtful poetry. this is just the sort of poem i love reading, i seriosly enjoyed this poem, it was elegant, haunting use of words and really dark. a very whitty use of imagery and wording. it is the sort of stuff i try to write.
you should have a look at a writer on all poetry called Fiore.. very similar writting style to yours.
great stuff your producing here. keep it up.
cheers
Anna xxx -
Wow. Having experienced something sort of like this, I really felt the raw emotion in the imagery. For me the fluidity of your words brought back feelings I don't even remember feeling. So thank you for sharing such hurt in such beauty.
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Excellent Expression
I really loved your poem. Vivid, descriptive. Very clear and understandable. Totally able to relate to this. -
I really like the quiet quality that the poem seems to have...to me it sounds like someone brooding...I like it a lot! Great job
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didn't bring up emotions or tears but i respect the imagery and unique choice of words.
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Very touching
This is very good and I can feel the emotion you are feeling. -
Well... I can't go as deep as the comment below me, I didn't CRY, however I can't deny the intense emotion and power that you must have poured into writing this. You did a wonderful job expressing your voice strong but sad. Thanks for the read.
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That just about made me cry. I just can't say anything more.
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