Someone spun a spider's web
across the lampshade,
but it does nothing
to shield us from the light.
Instead, shadows are projected--
fuzzy lines, thrown against
a wall, and magnified
beyond recognition.
As the days drift by
and drag on,
dust settles on the lamp
and on everything,
but the brightness is not dimmed.
The painful glow is
unwavering, as it tries
to pry open our souls.
We feed and thrive
on past thoughts
and future dreams.
There's something wrong with the way
we are searching,
sifting through words
to read a deluded meaning
as over-magnified as the
dusty spider silk.
Yet, it's safe to live on this;
on these thoughts
of the long-gone...
safer than leaving this horrid light
and exploring the darkness.
The strands of shadow web
disintegrate,
while the stale air is inhaled
yet again; the same oxygen
being recycled
as thoughts begin to blur.
And then, in a blink
the bulb burns out.
It feels like we should be free...
but we're locked in this room
without fresh breezes
--with nothing more than dust
and the husks
of long-gone memories.
Author notes
Ugh, ugh, ugh. You've caught me in the middle of a horrid writer's block. This is all I've come up with since I got my prompt...if I am suddenly struck with a wave of genius before 6 tonight, I promise that I'll come back and edit. Otherwise...ugh.
Username: Catauthor
Prompt received from olly olly oxen free: "The thing about waiting is:"
Prompt given to Ah.Sosha: Two broken puzzle pieces
A contest entry
- Teen Idol 7: Round 3 [Top 14] by Tangled Angle.
300 points, ended February 2, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I love the opening stanza -
Love it. Phrasing was conceptive and creative. Well done.
Much luck,
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Thanks very much! I'm glad that you're judging the Idol contests. Let's see if I can come up with anything interesting for the next round...
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I agree with Tyler, I think it was a bit "this is what the picture looks like" and less "this is the picture".
I'm not explaining it very well I'm afraid. You're telling us what to look at rather than showing it to us.
I loved some of your alliteration and the way your tied everything together, things mentioned in the beginning came back at the end without being repetitive.
All in all a good poem. Thank you. -
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Thank you for your comment and score--I'll be sure to work on "showing" more, especially as both of you have mentioned it. Thank you for spending your time on these contests--see you next round!
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9.5
The only beef I have with this is that I wish you would have shown more than you told; but the images you did have were great. Interesting concept. Besides that, I thought this was well done.
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Thanks, Tyler. I appreciate all the time that you're taking to host and score these contests. I'll try to work more on showing next round, which has an awesome prompt, by the way. See you there...
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