My eyes creates a fountain
upon my hands
seems as though
hope has lost its fine wings
One day, I went outside to see the sun
and meet the sweet shades of floras
then there I saw it
broken into pieces
“my hope” I said “oh why”
upon my wooden window pane
and ohh words
she has lost her sweet
voice
I remember when she could
reap spring on paper
as she would feed large
mountains in my soul
I would smile with day and night
prance with the birds to see
heaven every once in a while
ohh sometimes
my soul she speaks so quietly
as soft as a prayer
and I don’t know
what it is I want to say or
how I feel
Author notes
option 1
In a list
A contest entry
- Give Me Everything! by Uncle Haku.
1400 points, ended March 10, 2008, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Giving up, Finding hope, Give it all! by darkhawk.
450 points, ended March 2, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options Contest!! by Nighttime angel.
525 points, ended March 3, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me what you see outside your window. by copypastedelete.
300 points, ended April 4, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRE-WRITES! ROUNDS CONTEST!!! by Luminescence.
525 points, ended March 23, 2008, 176 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - written for the gist of love by sidewinder.
1400 points, ended December 30, 2008, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - *** UNCOVER MY FEELINGS *** by Rebekah-Ann.
500 points, ended April 2, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Things With Wings Part IV by JustWhoIAm.
300 points, ended April 15, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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You surely know how to paint with words! Thank you for entering !
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sweet.
Nice lil spiritual piece. good luck.
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Because of the abundance of entries into the contest... I will not be breaking down the score... but will be quick commenting.... your score is...38 ... out of 40.. thank you for entering and participating in my contest, and good luck,
~luminescence -
The last stanza certainly would make it on a headstone. A beautiful poem
Thanks for entering the contest -
Excellent poem Dear but i have to remove it this is an invite only contest. Sorry
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this is a very good poem that you have written. I am a bit confused, which prompt did you intend for this poem to be under?? Did you mean for this to be under Option 1 or Option 2? please come back and put one of the two in the authors notes so I know which one it applies to.
I will then come back & read it again..
kat -
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option 1 I place it in the author notes
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very good!
this poem makes me feel like im confused in a way, like my hope has been shattered and everything around me is falling apart because of the loss of the one I loved most. Great write and thanx for entering, good luck in the contest! -
this one sounds like your confused, with your hope shattered, this one i really liked
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this is beautiful. it sounds very like how i feel and it is written in a style that i write, but this is much better.
in the first line, did you mean "my eyes create fountains"?
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Interesting
Very good but sounds like a person confussed or trying to make a decision, I liked it Aurielle!
"BOO"
Like the new name as well!
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at times words flee far away, leaving only feelings. I like this. thank you for sharing your heart.
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Excellent metaphor...really nice
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