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Sweet, Sweet Abilene

I've been waiting on the wire
In the distance I catch a glimpse of steam
I heard you'd caught the 3:10 train
Back to Abilene
Sweet, sweet Abilene
A place, a time I might have been

Got your telegram that day
An' I tipped the Western Union man
He smiled as he went on his way
With other messages gripped in his bony hands
On dusty trails
Is where I am
Over rusty rails covered in sand

The old homesteaders built their lives
On blood and sweat and tears
They buried many of their kind
Over the harsh forgotten years
I still think of you
Though your face is so unclear
I wished to God I still had you here

So ask of me what you will as I ride the line
That stretches far across this land of extremes
I followed that distant telegraph wire
All the way back to Abilene
Sweet, sweet Abilene
A place, a time, a fading dream...

Author notes

Option# 2

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • takemypainaway
    August 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very nic tribute to the country style it a great explanation of life great write
    best of luck
    --kat


  • RestlessDreamer
    August 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful tribute to western lifestyle. My favorite part is...

    I followed that distant telegraph wire
    All the way back to Abilene
    Sweet, sweet Abilene
    A place, a time, a fading dream...

    ...the last line describes it beautifully. Great job!

  • piccola silver member
    June 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    please see info below rule #5 it says no previous trophy winners, not even green. Auto DQ


  • Brazos silver member
    April 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sad, sentimental, enchanting. Which option are you using here?

    Thanks for entering, and good luck in the contest.

    Novy and Brazos


  • ennovy silver member
    April 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful lyric's would sure make a great country song...Thank for entering...Novy & Brazos


  • SpiritMother
    March 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderfully sentimental write! Abilene, sweet Abilene!
    Hope that day will come for you in your dreams. Well done! I'm out of applause, so atch you next time.


  • storiesuntold gold member
    March 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent write here

    I sure did enjoy this lovely story . Keep up the good work


  • Ms Raneika
    March 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your poem nice flow and easy words with emotion made it quite interesting and good to read...

    Love, Raneika


  • Nikki Rowles
    March 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Your score

    Title: 7
    Wow: 8
    Flow: 5
    Read: 5
    Total: 25

    for scoring info see contest main pager

  • Nikki Rowles
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really like this, how the words work together, and I can tell the emotion behind it...good write...good luck....I will keep you updated


  • Luminescence
    March 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was nice... I wish that it had a little bit more puntuation in it and that every charater starting a new line wasn't capitalized... idk that bothers me.

    title- 10
    diction- 8
    syntax- 5
    wowness factor- 8

    total- 31, okay score


    Thank you so much for entering and participating in my contest and good luck,

    ~lumin


  • Angel Of Heaven99
    March 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sounds like a song and I really enjoyed it. Thanks for entering and the best of luck to you!


  • Metaphorist
    February 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great stuff. Thanks for entering.


  • February Moon gold member
    January 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful.

1 - 14 of 14