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Unfurling as You Spoke


You named your favorite flower—

I knew before breath passed lips
as soft, as fragrant
as the bud you named—

before cheeks deepened to
its richness, elegantly pure—

before forget-me-not eyes glistened
and sweet violet voice brushed my ears—

I knew before thornless touch
reminded me again, and yet again,
how palely, distantly its petal-crown

essays…fails…to echo you

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • fatality-rhymed77
    February 12

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    This poem is very touching, I loved it. I looks and sounds as though you put a lot of thought into this. Thank you for sharing this.


  • RyanosaurusWrecks
    March 10, 2008

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    conrats on your trophy in Lyndons contest...you have done well here, from descriptions like 'thornless touch'
    to the ending, all in all, a well placed poem for this competitive contest


  • klassy lassy
    March 3, 2008

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    Sometimes words are never enough! We just have to breath the in the petals of bloom to know the headiness. Lovely poem, Micol. Inhaling here.... ~ K


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    February 15, 2008

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    This is simply beautiful. All about a very "special" flower indeed. I rolled with this verse of perfect pauses held in terrific line breaks. Well done.
    A joy and pure pleasure to read and enjoy.

    ~Pamela


  • Lyndon gold member
    February 14, 2008

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    A love poem! A poem of love expressed.
    The title has a double play with both human love and the opening of a bud. Both thoughts and images almost coalesce in a sensitive soul or mind.
    The ending has the word "essay". A careful reading of the poem suggests the meaning of "tentatively attempts".
    This poem enacts itself, its image of the flower, the image of the woman, obviously.
    Notice that we do not know what the flower is yet we know its qualities. It is young, budding, delicate, fragrant, pure and bursting into a flower-head, thornless.
    Love, first love, here between the persona and the loved one, buds on a young unblemished skin, the woman capable of blushing ( before cheeks deepened to
    its richness, elegantly pure).
    The poem has a fascinating conceit: even the most beautiful bud bursting into flower cannot be as full of beauty and wonder as the woman; the "you" it cannot echo. Wonderful use of transensoriness: echo the visual; the tactile.
    This conceit is understood by the lover BEFORE the voice of the loved one can utter the flower's name.
    Such an endearing poem! Don't you agree that the senses come alive, even in the tender, sensuous - no sensual- fantasy evoked?

    Finally, there is compression not only of language, but through ellipsis and associations, of imagery.
    At no time do we see the woman; touch her; breathe her breath; watch her face. Yet, we have, haven't we?
    And the process has been thornless.

    Another option one could have is the deep love of a father for his daughter; perhaps young daughter, learning the names of flowers. Emotively, this situation works just as well, perhaps. Interpretations that call for ambivalence in poetry are common.

    Again, Winklings, this is poetry rare upon this site.
    Lyndon of the Winklings.


  • tomisb
    January 29, 2008

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    This calls to the heart as its structure and form blossoms to this readers eye. The last lines stealing the feeling of containment and leaving the heart with a sigh. Beautifully done.
    Love, Tom B.


    • micol
      January 29, 2008
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      Many thanks. I didn't think just asking judi her favorite flower (which I already knew) would elicit such emotions--this is one contest I am glad to have seen.


  • Dalaney gold member
    January 28, 2008

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    This must be my favorite by you. I've read and reread it. Sensually beautiful in every way, Poet...my best to you in the contest, but truly, no trophy could ever stand up to this. Love, Lane


    • micol
      January 28, 2008
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      What a wonderful response; and coming from you, even more so. To be read and reread...the best that could happen to a poem. Thank you, Lane.

      Michael

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