I sit on these park swings,
Though I am too old to be.
But there are no children to be seen.
They're all probably at home, eating.
But not me,
It's dusk on Sunday
And I'm swinging my weekend away.
I haven't quite flown yet,
and this is the closest I'll get.
Watching a multicolorous sunset.
Orange yellowish, and violette.
Just for me,
It's dusk on Sunday
And I'm swinging my weekend away.
There's a lot of thinking
I let my mind roam freely.
Not held back by anything,
Just the pull back of gravity.
It holds me,
It's dusk on Sunday
And I'm swinging my weekend away.
There goes the final glow,
And how I rue to watch it go.
It's final bow bends so low...
My swing stops. And I know
It awed me,
This sunset on Sunday,
Where I swang my weekend away.
A contest entry
- Sitting in the park at dusk by Tarkus Trilogy.
400 points, ended February 9, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bronze Bombshell....Free Verse by Randomly Beautiful.
300 points, ended March 3, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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You had some good imagery but the repetiveness threw me a bit. Thanks for the entry. :f
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oh, such classic vocabulary used that noone uses anymore. like rue? haven't read that on in a long time. i love it :]
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I really like how you wrote this poem! The emotion here was really great. To me this actually feels like it could become a song!! I love how you repeated “And I'm swinging my weekend away.” but keep it flowing smoothly.
This was well written!!
Great job, keep on writing!
Good luck!
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Very good
I can feel emotion in this poem, The way it flows is really good, I enjoyed reading it. This stanza "there goes the final glow, and how I rue to watch it go. It's final bow bends so low... My swinging stops, and I know. really struck me. Good job and good luck
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