The word "Goodbye"
smoked out of your lips
like the last wisps
of a matchstick blown out,
and your feet stepped back
into your new future:
without me.
You left me stranded
like an unwanted colour
in the house I sewed with your memories
both stale and fresh
as the dried edges of the new rose
I still hid in my hand.
It's strange though,
that even when you've
dumped me in the debris of emotions
I feel empty.
Was this what was left
of the time we shared?
An empty plate
which doesn't even cling on to crumbs...
It's funny, really,
how easy it feels to move on,
as if my heart were covered in soap.
Goodbye.
Author notes
prompt: thumb stuck out for a ride
A contest entry
- ...thumb stuck out for a ride... by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended February 6, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me what wins gold around here by AutumnGypsy.
550 points, ended August 28, 2008, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Your thoughts, if I may ask? :)
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wow, this touched me, when I was not expecting it. You captured something unexplainable with the simplicity of this, well done and welcome to the finalist list. Best to you
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much thank you for the HM! honoured!
i'm glad this piece had an effect on you. your comment is appreciated.
bless ya!
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Excellent use of imagery and metaphor. Thank you for entering.
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ooh, really?
thank you.. I'm still surprised I stole the gold..
Glad to know you enjoyed it!
Merci Beaucoup!
blesses!
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just amazing and wowness does sum this up.
it's quite extravagant, i love the notion of you heart covered in soap
great write
i'm also very drawn to your picture there, did you take that??
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thank you!
do you want me to give you some soap?
bless ya!
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wow this is a popwerful take and you capture emotions aswell with this prompt. just amazing and wowness heh best of luck
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lol, that's too much of a compliment.
thanks!!
bless ya!
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