Piercing needles, slide eagerly through flesh; clamped
an ethereal quill pens searing meaning onto a living canvas.
Brand names say
self grooming, is sharp
teeth tightly tasting
a moan of pleasure
a wave of electric erotic
punishment and shame.
Run a dozen miles ‘til blood turns to vinegar, sweat stings your
eyes - seeping
the grunt of heavy weighty bullshits and barbells.
Moisturiser helps mask drug abuse,
cunning little fox of your dreams, barks to announce the morning
nights spent in hell, mornings climax spontaneously,
Keeping yourself awake and screaming,
‘Lalalala whoa whoa whoa
lalalala whoa whoa stay awake you stupid boy’
'No time to sleep doctor',
the phone rings, its the man from the bank
the man from the council,
that lady about the rent
Borderline - happy, lost in the post post
post modern world,
psychoanalysis, rite of passage
premature
the roar of a greasy engine,
burnt rubber,
deadness,
Roaring
Towering buildings, crumble and fall
churches collapse onto their flock
time festers away licking creases into your face
and etching paranoia into your psyche,
…still, light switch on your wall,
the sun comes up once a day,
still all spinning'
Author notes
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Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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wow.... truly wow.... this was instense.. shot out like a bullet from the beginning- the bang from the blast turned into a tone that morphed into a scream.... "Run a dozen miles ‘til blood turns to vinegar, sweat stings your
eyes - seeping
the grunt of heavy weighty bullshits and barbells."
It was like a bad trip that branded the memory into the subconscious- until the wall crumbled down....
"time festers away licking creases into your face
and etching paranoia into your psyche" thats the mark of the message....
freakin fantastic.... well penned, well versed, well done. -T
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this is very wonderful i enjoyed reading it beginning to end!! this write is very intense! great write and keep on penning!
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i'm not sure what to make of this...there's so much here, almost too much for my little brain to comprehend. my overall impression is that it's fantastic, incredibly written with tons of imagery.
"cunning little fox of your dreams, barks to announce the morning" <- i don't care who you are, that's a good line right there
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its all tattoos at the beginning!
i like the connections to things that recently(enough) happened, the church collapse, buildings collapse(i relate to 9/11 being american haha) i like how its about the obvious and maybe making things NOT obvious(the moisturizer masking drug abuse) maybe its about ignoring or avoiding. i cant tell but i like it in whatever way it relates to me. which is how i described it. bravo. is insomnia making you write so much?
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amazing
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At first I could have sworn you were a long lost poet friend of mine, with the alliteration and use of the word "ethereal" (he loved that word) But I smiled my statisfied smile when I read these two parts:
"Brand names say
self grooming, is sharp"
"lost in the post post post modern world"
Quite the style you've got, almost reminds me of Cummings.
Great job on this one.
Don Piano
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wow! lots of emotions in this piece. Great job
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wow!
this was amazing! your work amazes me!!
Oh My!!
I like this a lot! Great write!
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wow
wow wow! this is amazing! intense but very readable, it honestly had me hooked from the start. you use fantastic words - and the imagery and mood in this is brilliant. its feels so so realistic! you have a very interesting style, very unique. i love this!
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Nice style
This was very interesting. Your style is both eclectic and eccentric, and your word choice confuses yet intrigues me. At times, I'm not sure whether the grammatically incorectness is on purpose, but looking back, it kind of meshes with the mood of the piece.
You have some very powerful lines here; the fourth line, for example, is perfect as is.
Like I said, this was a very interesting read. It has a unique style, strong voice and great word choice. However, the symbolism seems a little vague to me. I can comprehend bits and pieces of your metaphor here and there, but the full-viewed meaning definitely leaves something to ponder.
Nice job on this, poet. Keep up the great writing!
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