I thank you for your contribution
Your gift of bone in mind
With which I drill holes in my hands and feet
And with which I stab my forehead and crown
And cut long whip-like gashes in my back
I walk, silent and slow through the forest
My friend, a man of wit, lets plants absorb him
And I absorb them, one by one, with special care to each
Little fixations occupy me entirely
And I feel at once whole and incomplete
I am not one to rebel against the rules
I sleep so comfortably embraced by scripture
And yet I hack at the dragon
A smooth, shiny surface I stare into
And shatter it so I can rely on the words of others
Hold the door, sir! I bear a gift
It is my heart and complete trust
I place it in your hands, rough and unfamiliar
In an effort to smooth your cracked palms
And take a chance to make up for little others
A shell will keep you hidden, a hard exterior
But will not ward away giant inquirers
So I reside in a ball of mirrors
To send beams of light away from me
I am made for myself, and defend it as such!
Author notes
PO' Contest
About me. And what I see of myself, from my own eyes.
Thanks to everybody for your comments, and thanks to the judges for the honor of the 'Most Creative Theme' award in the contest!
A contest entry
- Poem of the Month - POM by Arkbear.
1000 points, ended February 3, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Like?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Interesting entry ~
Welcome to the PO' contests young Poet...I am thrilled to see such an imaginative mind join us ~
You have embraced many areas in which I look at poetry ~
I did notice the word..*and* being used quite heavily throughout your write, which IMO, takes away from the poetic beauty of this piece ~
Also....CAPPING each line is something I personally find havocing your entry and creating a huge Flow problem for my tongues brain :)
However, if every other entry is half this good, then I look forward to the next 4 hours in front of this monitor Judging each entry ~
Well done my new friend, and the best of luck to you and your well-penned entry,
....my scoreboard will show you how I felt about other areas not mentioned in my review,
....good luck!
Bear ~
Title 9.8
Flow 7.75
Depth 9.3
Theme 10
Feelings 8.95
Grammar 9.15
Presentation 10
Uncommonness 10
Sit & Ponder Affect 9.4
Ability to follow Rules 10
Bears Score: 94.35
Nice job.....and no editing once a Judge has touched your work :)
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Hmm, I like the sound of a man who walks by faith but likes to wake dragons, and is unfamiliar with his own heart. I pictured a galdiator walking down a major modern throughfare searching for a dragon to slay, but you can't slay dragons in a ball of mirrors. You would be too distracted by images of yourself. Great write with lots of images.
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Thanks for your comment and applause!
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I can relate to the last stanza, the part about the shell. I found the rest pretty hard going though I gather you see yourself as a Christ figure? Not being religious or male, I don't really get it.
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Kind of. It's hard to explain, that's why it was put into poetry format--but more or less, I mess myself up in an effort to help others sometimes, even though I'd rather not, and I'd rather not see it that way either.
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Yourself is quite interesting, this is definitely original.
A point made poetically.
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Great wording and images! And read nicely, too.
Well done!
good luck in the contest.
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Great use of fantasy
imagery. You speak with a very distinct voice throughout - excellent. I enjoyed reading this - good luck in the contest.
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Thanks, and good luck to you too!
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Very good, quite graphic in parts, very nicely written with real emotion,
well done and good luck in the contest,
regards,
Floorboards. -
Great write. Good luck in the contest
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Thank you, and good luck to you too!
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