Treetops and silence
were late night whispers
when you spoke to me-
rain on glass windowpanes
like being held ‘till daybreak.
You tasted slightly like uncertainty,
but I couldn’t be sure.
In learning I knew nothing
you showed me more than that-
they’re not all bad memories
past fading memory momentarily
and breath stains.
To walk in the dark is past meaning
cold wet barefoot in the rain,
the noise made you jump when you weren’t looking,
but glancing up
there were no stars.
Wind in the leaves spoke loveliness-
secrets ‘till six a.m.-
it’s hard to leave when you’re still waking lip tender
when there’s no such thing
as too long.
Somehow cold noses and white chocolate
make smiling Saturday afternoons
perfection and snowdrops-
the mist will never
be thick enough,
but your fingertips are always there.
To swear you’ve never known charisma
quite like that before
is nothing in comparison
to laughter and safety in sitting
armwarmed by slipcomfort and pillows-
you wince at my icicle toes.
And for some odd reason
we believe in honesty
that there is no such thing as better
than this.
Author notes
Written November 15th, 2003
A contest entry
- cookies and cream ice cream (for you) by u took my user name.
650 points, ended November 22, 2007, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Poetic liscence would explain it. . . lol a little personal thing i have trouble distingishing. sorr
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the only thing i could think of to add to this, is grammar, which i understand is a pain to do. . . but this poem is certainly good enough to take time for. . .
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Grammar? I've taken a bit of poetic licence in places, but I see no grammar mistakes here. What are you referring to?
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honestly. . . i feel bad for even entering a contest when something like this is entered. . . idk. . . i just feel like this is much more captivating than anything i could write. . . just wow. . . amazing job
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there is something simple and so beautiful about this.
sincerity is written all over it. It showsn in every innocent word, every line
This is a real pleasure to read.
i know i'll be reading it a few more times :-)
Thank you for entering. :-)
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OMG you are really godo like masterjj2k2 I read this multiple times, it just reaches inside and pulls out a tear, not many poems can do that to me but you are only 15 and i think that you think like a veterin of life you know so much yet know nothing at all..This is a GREAT POEM I love it to death. I especially liked the end
"And for some odd reason
we believe in honesty
that there is no such thing as better
than this."
That was the best part I loved it.
STAY EXISTENTIAL!!!
LOVE hateablecoco110/f/f
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How many times can I read this. I think that this makes 9, but it does not make a difference if it was 9 or 29. I will never get tired of it. The flow is perfect. The topic is happy. And the writer is perfect.
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I read this a couple of times to fully appreciate it. Many lines have the ability to reach inside and tickle that little tonsil of intrigued curiosity. I liked,
'we believe in honesty
that there is no such thing as better
than this.'
A little moment of inspirational sharing. Beauty in full, as lush as the lips that are truly uncertain. You may never know where the beginning was, and you might keep going at the end.
Lots of abrupt halts, and sudden images, make this a worthwhile piece...Nicely written. I can relate on some level.
Peace
Chris
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Wow..this was really good. Beautiful write!
"Wind in the leaves spoke loveliness-
secrets ‘till six a.m.-
it’s hard to leave when you’re still waking lip tender
when there’s no such thing
as too long."
I really liked that part for some reason. And I agree with Jackie..the ending was perfect. You really are a great poet, keep it up.
Sarah
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Aww, how sweet. Your poetry has been progressively happier. I like the lightheart air about this one, if that was what you intended. I got that feeling near the end. I love this part:
"the mist will never
be thick enough,
but your fingertips are always there."
And a perfect ending...great write, Katie. You're really good at this poetry, business, you know it?
Jackie
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