You see a simile in me of a storybook read.
You see a door wide open with a wall on the other side.
Standing tall,
but full of cracks
and pressure breaks
and patchwork
that doesn’t keep the cold away.
Notice the goosebumps on your arm?
You see a world torn apart, but it doesn’t surprise me that you didn’t hear it happen.
Silence is a veil of deceit, a game, a comedic device… and a punishment.
I am reincarnated within a dying romance that has given birth to a curse known to me as “The Sulphuric Smile”.
And I call to you from behind my wall to a cackling of icy nothingness.
Your embrace is my delusion
Footsteps echo in the distance
Loneliness – a haunting destiny
My heart
Vilified
Shredded
And scarred;
By the Hags of Yomi.
By: Jaye Eryk
Copyright ©2008
Author notes
Personification is NOT re-creation
The Hags of Yomi are written about in Japanese Shinto Mythology.
Non-monosyllabic comments welcomed
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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haha i love how you stepped out of the normal and gave me something fresh from somewhere other then rome or greece
a beautiful well written poem. -
this is an interesting piece
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Your embrace is my delusion
Footsteps echo in the distance
Loneliness – a haunting destiny
Wow this is absolutely powerful -
A moment of silence sometimes holds the loudest screams. How do you manage to rip apart my soul and use its blood as your ink? Drying out my quill with every word, you are, but I cannot say that I don't enjoy your poetry.
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Color me majorly impressed =)
"You see a simile in me of a storybook read.
You see a door wide open with a wall on the other side."
I claimed to like a poem of your best of all recently, but this one is a good contender...these first 2 lines spoke out to me so clearly. They're unique, interesting, and very...Trioxin. =]
Interesting that you titled 'Goosebumps'--any particular reason why??
"You see a world torn apart, but it doesn’t surprise me that you didn’t hear it happen."
Very cool and deep--one who sees but doesn't hear.
"Silence is a veil of deceit, a game, a comedic device… and a punishment."
Hmm, I understand how it could be a veil of deceit, a game and a punishment, but a comedic device? I'm picture some mimes here...=D Was this the amusing silence you were referring to? XD Either way, I liked this line a lot. =]
"And I call to you from behind my wall to a cackling of icy nothingness."
I had to reread this line because I saw 'icy' first and thought 'cackling' was 'caking' (which made me think of cake, even though the 2 words are unrelated definition-wise). Although 'cackling' probably makes more sense, I actually preferred the initial version that I THOUGHT I'd read...'a caking of icy nothingness'--I like that better.
"Your embrace is my delusion
Footsteps echo in the distance
Loneliness – a haunting destiny
My heart
Vilified
Shredded
And scarred;
By the Hags of Yomi."
I loved the formatting for the lines after 'My heart', really emphasizing just how "shredded" you feel...
The Hags of Yomi? Enlighten me! =]
Jessica
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The Hags of Yomi, a familiar tale told in just about every culture, one who walks to the underworld, only to be devoured...these hags are ruthless, and hungry.
This brings many things to mind for me, first and foremost society itself, a world torn apart, not surprised we didn't hear it happen, so self absorbed in all that doesn't really matter.
Silence, I find silence can bring peace, or a soaking loneliness that seeps to the core...those walls we use to protect us, imprison as well...shame is, each brick has a name, a memory, staring at us from within its confines making escape not worth the effort, for there is only more waiting on the outside. Lesser of two evils huh?
Your writing always makes me think, I don't even try to decypher...as we all have our demons. Another great write.
~B.
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