Let me breathe in,
The intoxicating scent of you.
Taste the hot tears running down my face?
Let me look deep into
Your shining gold eyes.
See how, in mortality, I have no place?
Let my touch,
Your shining, ivory skin.
Feel the pulse beneath my flesh?
Let me feel,
Your glistening fangs in my veins.
When you walk by do you hear me lose my breath?
I'll let you taste,
My blood on your lips.
Will you let me become one of you?
I long to be,
Immortalized by your side.
Do you see the reasons for what I do?
I don't fear,
What you are.
Can you see the love in my soul?
I want to hold you,
For infinity and longer.
Let our hearts beat together; cold.
Author notes
This is, I guess, a mix between all the books. Its a constant feeling Bella had through all of them ^^
WOOT for Team Switzerland!!!
A contest entry
- And so the lion fell in love with the lamb... by Sticks-And-Stones.
600 points, ended February 12, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Welcome all Twilighters, Fanpires, Twi-Hards and Twilightoholics by Missa.
425 points, ended August 1, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What's Your Favorite Twilight Book? by soccer220.
600 points, ended August 25, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I love love love this! It feels like it's really Bella saying all of this. I'm a very HUGE fan of the Twilight series, and I get mad when people write poems on it, but dont do that book justice. But you, you did it justice, and Bellas character justice!
<3
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WoW this was written as if you are bella
soccer220 im voting for this poem to win....i dont think i have read anything that came this close to bellas character
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thank you so much for your comment. I'm glad you like it that much. ^^
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Wow...this is great! You really describe Bella's feelings for Edward, and you justify her reasons for wanting to be a vampire-awesome! Thanks for entering and good luck!
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thank you for the comment!
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This is amazing! The only thing I didn't like about it was that the last line didn't really rhyme well. I don't know, it's not bad the way it is, but cold and soul don't really sound good. And in the last line it's important to make it sound good. Anyway, other than that, I think it is very good. I loved the flow and emotion in it!
Great job on this! My only other suggustion is to keep writing poetry like this ! XD
God bless,
Brigh Smyles
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another team swiss yay! i really was starting to feel alone out there, lol, anyways i truely enjoyed. it was perfect, i dont even know how to describe what made it perfect, it just works. great write
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Greatness!
This is such a good poem!!!!!! "Let our hearts beat together; cold." That was my favorite line!
This flows really nicely and has great description...3 clappyies for you, my friend!
Illuminated *KT*
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thank you very much for your comment! I'm glad you like it ^^
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cool! i really like this!
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Thank You
Thank you very much for your comment! I'm glad you liked it. I'm always afraid sum Twilight fan (like myself) who is as obsessed with the books as I am is going to tell me that my Twilight poems, this one included, suck. lol.
Thank you again!
~Kouu Hime~ -
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well i loved it
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Love it still!
hehehe
Nah just wanted to give you more points, for this remarkable piece!!! -
That was FANTASTIC!!!!!!!
I LOVE IT!!!!!
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OOOH LALALALA. I LOVE IT! IT'S FANTASTIC!
It liked, touched me! I have never read a poem like this ever in my life. I love it I hope you make more poems like this
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OOH! I LOVE IT! I am a fellow Twilight Saga addict (lol) and you've just quenched my need for more Bella and Edward until 'Breaking Dawn' comes out in Aug. and Twilight the movie comes out in Dec. Ooh! I can't wait!
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thank you for your comment. I'm so happy to know there are so many addicts of the Twilight series on this site. I'm glad you liked it.
Thanks again
~AT~
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I like this
Don't want to criticize. I got lost in the moment. Romantic and sensual in the vampire genre. I give it two fangs up
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Awe, how wonderfully depressing. I don't know how Edward could resist Bella's plea. If i was Bella I wouldn't have been scared at all of becomeing a vampire... right up until the bite I'd be excited. I'd be so keyed up I don't know if they'd be able to bite me. I love your poem though.
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Congratulations on being a preliminary finalist! It is well deserved. This poem is extraordinary....
beautiful.
absolutely gorgeous..
"Let our hearts beat together; cold."
we can only hope that this will happen in the next book!
*august 08 baby!!* -
I LOVE this poem. It's about everything Bella wants... she wants Edward and she wants to be like him, because she knows it would make things easier. Great work! Thanks for entering!
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thank you for the comment... and the contest. If someone didn't do a Twilight contest soon, I would have done it myself, but I've tried doing my own contest before and it didn't turn out so good... So anyway thanks again!
You Rock!
~VampireTears~
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I know what you mean. I've been a fan for a total of one week, but I'm already crazy about the series! =D
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Have you read all the books (that are out so far)? They all rock. Last one kinda made me mad tho... lol.
~VampireTears~ -
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Yeah, I have. Why'd it make you mad?
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Cuz Bella was being stupid acting like she couldn't choose between (Hottie) Edward and (dumb dog) Jacob. Plus she spent the whole book throwing herself at Edward. It just made me mad that she did that. lol. I get WAY to into books sometimes. (especially the Twilight books). lol.
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Oh yeah! lol, I know! That stupid mongrel... I HATE JACOB! And then I nearly threw my book across the room when he kissed her! >:-(
But I was SO happy when she punched him!
"You fall again, Bella?"
"No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face." -
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The part that REALLY made me mad was when Bella told Jacob that she loved him. but at least she chose Edward. (but who wouldn't?) lol. u excited bout the movie?
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lol, yeah... Edward is OBVIOUSLY the better choice! Yeah, I'm excited, but I'm probably more excited about Breaking Dawn coming out next fall. I'm afraid to see the movie, because movies always leave out the best parts and end up mutilating the plot and characters. I know with some of my favorite books the movies have even left out important charcters! And the movies are always so disappointing. I'm contemplating whether or not I want to see it. I don't want it to ruin my little fantasy and the way I imagine the story.
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That is so true. I'm not sure if i wanna see it either. But we have 2 years to decide. lol. Breaking Dawn is gonna rock but Midnight Sun is gonna be so much better cuz of the way its gonna be written. I read the first chapter and it ROCKS!!! Did you see the movie Blood and Chocolate ? If u did, did you read the book? they screwed that one up so bad it aint even funny. Same with Eragon. So if they do that to twilight, im so gonna have to sue them. lol.
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I haven't read Blood and Chocolate or seen the movie, but I read Earagon. I saw the movie to days afterward and I was SOOO mad! They messed up EVERYTHING in that movie! I can't wait until more books in the Twilight series come out though... I honestly think I'll die of anticipation. XD
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Me too! The release date for Breaking Dawn is like Dec. 12 or something last time I checked. T_T
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I know... I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG!!!! XP I'm seriously going insane! I need to know what happens!
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Wow great job! You tied together everything! I love it!
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