There's water, water everywhere
At least that’s what they tell me
They say that I should use it soon
For everyone can smell me
They say my room is one big mess
And it could use some order
My dirty shirts are neatly piled
My socks stand in the corner
I don’t know what the fuss is for
The yelling and the shouting
I’m in my room; I’ve shut the door
Now I’m accused of pouting
They say I’ll never get a girl
I'm sure they aim to scare
Now do they think at twelve years old
That I should really care?
Well, now I finally took a bath
I can see it’s only fair
But now I hear the aftermath
"Water, water everywhere!"
Author notes
“Gummy bears will soon take over the world”
A contest entry
- Rhyme and Flow part 2 Children's - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended June 3, 46 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Craze Contest by angela.di.carta.
550 points, ended June 29, 97 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blah Blah Blah by Missa.
330 points, ended July 3, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what is your impression
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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im sorry i forgot to check on your poem. you seem to be missing something in your authors notes. you will need to add it in 24 hours or i will have to DQ you. too bad. yours was so cute!
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excellent flow and rhyme..with a touch of humor..absolutely love it..thanx so much for sharing..and best of luck in the contest..blessings...namaste..
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thanks much
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awww its so cute! i loved it!
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This is adorable, however it has already won an HM so I must in all fairness DQ. Sorry ... it is one of the rules. (below #5)
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This poem is so adorably creative!
I love this it made me smile
Nice rhyme scheme too, this seriously deserves to be published in a child's book.
Reminds me of Shel Silverstein
-GL in contest -
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thanks very much
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Fantastic and a great favourite amongst our experts!
I have three sons, need I say more?
We can't give out an infinite number of top prizes but this was always going to be at least an HM!
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BRAVO!
teeheehee! this is SO SO cute! adorable!
this is definitely a strong contender! and is so true of little boys!
kudos to a well versed piece!
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This is so cute! Gave me a chuckle..especially since I raised a child very much like the one described here! A fun write with a message, and difinitely a ring of truth!
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We are foster parents, and sometimes...WOW
Thanks for the comments
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Good going on this one James! Very funny and this is truly one of your best!
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Haha. This was funny. Thanks and good luck
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Funny view of a 12 year old boy and his hygiene "problem".
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This is such a funny write. Wonderful imagery Keep up the wonderful writing. Good luck in the contest
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fun
Hey James, I shut my eyes and I picked a person at random to come in and have a look at - and I found you. I like your poem, funny and true and well written. Last line though would read better with only one 'water', but you could put a hyphen in the middle between the words or capitalise the 'everywhere' to emphasise it...
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the capitalization might be good. I will think on it. thanks a bunch. Jim
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