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I chose picture number 8

As I am walking along the sandy beach trying to retrace our steps
I remember how we held hands and took late night walks down here
I remember how we snuck out and saw each other even after our parents forbid it

Im crying here along the beach because to retrace our steps is hard
Because the last walk we took I went my seperate way and you went yours
I remember the last words I said to you before you took that long drive
Ive cut and cried everyday since then knowing I cant take the words I said back

I still picture your face when Im walking and when Im going to sleep
You keep me awake at night and when I wake up I hope it was just a dream
But I stand up and look in the mirror and realize all my hoping is a waste

I cannot sleep and I cannot eat, I cannot do anything without thinking of you
I can cry and cry and cut and cut til I pass out from all the pain
Not from the cutting and crying but because of what its standing for

If I could just walk by your side once more along this beach
And tell you i didnt mean the things I said
It would cure the broken heart and the broken eyes of mine

But for now Ill just have to remember how we held hands and took late night walks
And how we snuck out and saw each other even though our parents forbid it!

A contest entry

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Comments


  • EverxEnding silver member
    January 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the emotion in this piece and I love the story you convey.

    I see a few issues in the technical work though. You should spell check [line 9] . Check line 14, I think you left out a word. The first lines of first and second block both describe the beach as being sandy. I found that it slowed he flow of the write.

    I still think that this write is awesome and with a few changes it could be great! Please try not to take my critism as being harsh. I'm trying to help.