I fear my love is all in vain
Such as the tears are as they fall
Again Again...
They f
a
l
l
Is this what Love is?
Like a storm: baneful and beautiful
Lustrous and lethal
And even while I fear you've forgotten me
I fear more that these tears that cascade down my cheeks
Will be tossed into the ocean
Swaying gently with the waves...
Soon, I'll dive in and melt with them...
Author notes
Option 2~
Things you cannot control but wish you could.
Option 6~
if you choose this option I will be watching becasue if you do a very good job I willtake my hat off to you becasue its hard for me to please here
~I want the sea I live by the sea and am addicted either combine this option and with a theme from the above 5 options
@For example@ option 6 with option 1
describing love like the sea and you cant control either and you will use great sea imagery and love imagery combined just an example.
Option---> heartbreak/lonliness
A contest entry
- Does the Ocean break upon your Heart? by Flames-of-Furey.
488 points, ended February 11, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The news in brief - Short poetry by ilovemygrape.
450 points, ended February 5, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heartbreaks, Loneliness, and the Dearly Departed. by Star-of-David.
450 points, ended February 17, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
He holds me by a string.....
Comments
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Very good write.
Best of luck in the contest. -
Lovely stuff. Your descriptions of love are poignant and powerful, and your links with tears and the sea are crisp and subtle. Skillfully written with purpose. I believe that true love can never be forgotten. It will linger as long as we have need for comfort. My rules state that if you win on those other contests, I shouldn't give you a trophy, but since I've read this before they have finished, I can override my axiom.
Thanks for the entry
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Good use of alliteration and good layout here. Good luck in the contest
Thanks for your comment
All the best
Pozo
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strangely I like this alot
what style is this poem?
the layout was the sea!
it flowed like the words and
f
e
l
l like the tide very creative!
'Is this what Love is?' great question
'baneful and beautiful, Lustrous and lethal' great alliteration that follows
'I fear you've forgotten me'
'I fear more that these tears that cascade down my cheeks'
Fantastic emotion and description especially the way they link to the sea which is excatly what I asked for.
'Will be tossed into the ocean
Swaying gently with the waves...
Soon, I'll dive in and melt with them...'
Yes great ending tossed by the ocean very dramatic and the distance you have with the ocean at such a close contact and then suddenly you blend together
'melt with them...'
awsome trail off line as if you have left for something better but could not control your feelings or actions.
fantastic great poem very original
good luck
points will increase
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