Such a delicate flower
In the palm of your hand
Cautious not to crush it
With your flocculent finger-tips...
Broken petals
Hit the floor...
Author notes
I am the flower...
A contest entry
- Looking for Favorites by just-an-amateur.
600 points, ended February 10, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
He holds me by a string.....
Comments
-
This a good poem, but any woman should not be with someone who holds her by a string. Strings can be so easily cut. And a man with flocculent fongertips seems to be very careless and uncareing. Good luck in the contest.
-
Then clip your ties to him. If this is the way you are treated then you deserve a great deal more. Open your heart to a new sun and let yourself grow on better, truer soil. Find someone who will catch you before you fall, because the "he" mentioned above it obviously not worth the heartache.
But as to your poem. Breath-taking imagery with a delicate, airy touch to it that allows the reader to lose themself in your words. Your use of space is impressive too. I still haven't reached the point where I can do that effectively so I may take notes on what you've done for later!
Thanks for entering and best of luck in the contest!
~M~
-
A cautious piece here suggesting delicateness and vulnerability. I had to go to the dictionary for the meaning of that word I had never sense not heard before, but it fits well and I learned someting new today.
Thanks,
David
Adding your comment:
