seems almost impossible,
you are here,
I can now carry
your scent on my clothes,
involuntary smiles you envoke
tell me,
I am yours forever
In a list
A contest entry
- Looking for Favorites by just-an-amateur.
600 points, ended February 10, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Very beautiful indeed. Reminds me of a recent conversation whereupon, 'I want to smell your sweet scent again & touch your soft skin' I told him you've never touched me properly and how do you know how I smell? 'I stood next to you...that was enough, I'll always remember.' Beautiful.
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It's a good poem. Lots of expression. thanks for entering.
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Your title caught my eye as I scanned the list of entries this morning. But when I read your write I understood that this poem was not in the least directed to me. Ah, a blow to my ego (not that it doesn't need it every now and then) lol, ha ha. Just kidding.
But now down to business. I like that you use punctuation but if I may suggest something, you might want to scratch out one of those commas. It sounds a bit awkward at the beginning. Maybe a period after the second line would give it more of a note of finality that I think you may be looking for. Overall though, a beautiful entry! Thanks for entering and best of luck in the contest!
~M~
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Very nice expresions --substantive in a limited form.
Great write! You may become a new favorite with this one!
David
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this is a ebautiful write and your 25 words are so powerfully written i loved this best of luck in the contest
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