These four walls close
in more everyday
Can't fight the demons
why do I have to pay
Memories of the past
haunting, burning inside
Slowly eating my sanity
going out of my mind
Looking out my window
wondering is there life past this
As the world passes me by
so many opportunities missed
Bars on my windows
triple locks on my doors
Trying to keep out the demons
I don't know if I can take anymore
Can't find inner peace
it's nowhere to be found
As I lay here in tears
to my past I'm bound
Author notes
option #2 Quotes
"It's a dangerous business going out of your front door" - J.R.R Tolkien
This poem is about my daily life. I am a prisoner in my own home. I can't go anywhere without my husband Jason by my side. Not even outside to check the mailbox. I look out the windows and watch life passing me by each day. My past haunts me to this day. As a survivor of child abuse both sexual and physical, and spousal abuse from an ex-husband and then being raped by threee unknown men I am scared of my own shadow. I tried to deal with the pain and memories each day. I am so lucky that God sent to me an Angel in my husband Jason who loves me unconditonally and a beautiful baby girl. I hope oneday to be free from the demons from my past.
In a list
A contest entry
- Worst Memories by Romily.
360 points, ended February 11, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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This is heartbreaking, but beautifully put together. I can feel all the pain in this write. Thank you so much for entering this into my contest. A perfect take on the quote. Many blessings and good luck!
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So sad but beautifully put to words. I feel your deep pain and I understand how those memories can haunt us. But you are stronger than you believe,and this you will someday know. I know, I've been there where the demons from the past shout at you,and pull you down. The only way to overcome this kind of pain is to walk through it. Walk gently through every detail with someone trusted. It is one of the tougest things you will everdo, but it is also one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself,and the generations to come. Stop the cycle with you! I am routing for you! Blessings, Patty
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Thank you for your words of encouragement
Theresa
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Awesome
This is so emotional and heart breaking. But, I can still see a ray of hope and faith. God can and will heal all things, if we trust Him. I can personally witness to that. God bless. Darlee77
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Thanks for your kind comments they mean the world too me Theresa
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Tender applause-applause!
A little secret I will share with you, the temporary
wilderness you have found yourself within...enables you
now to dethrone those past painful memories and wretched
pain. The throne inside your heart? Shines bright love
and strength!
So plant yourself a window sill garden, and name each
seed and claim the victory,
faith, hope, peace, love and forgiveness,
for you dear poet have
a heart full of beauty, power, and bright light.
How wonderful it is to have you as our light of hope
and strength!
much love,
ears/Seattle
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Thanks my friend for your very uplifting comments
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Ohh sweetheart, this piece hit so close to home. i feel each line you wrote, I offer more hugs than you know what to do with!!! Such pain and isolation in your words, You write it with such conviction that any reader feels it.no matter if they've experienced this or not. Congrats on the silver! Well deserved! hugs~Nikki
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Nikki I am so sorry that this poem hits close to home for you too. I hate to think anyone has to live this way. I feel like a prisoner in my own home and I am the one who won't let me escape my past keeps it from happening. I pray each day that oneday I will be able to go outside alone and take a brief walk. I will never give up hope. My prayers are with you and all those who go through this awful pain each day. God bless you and thanks for caring. Love and hugs Theresa
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Transcend All
I could never say that I understand YOUR pain since pain and the memories of abuse are so unique to each person. Our journey through this pain is something that only we can understand fully. I too have been blessed with the love of a partner who has been the twinkle of light in my darkness. So I would say that we have hope of remaining survivors because they see us that way with every kiss, with every sunrise, even when all we feel is despair. You have captured raw emotion, offering a glimpse into the inner hell you push through each day. I admire your strength & your courage, you love with a wounded heart which will continue bringing together the fractures in your soul. I sit here looking out my window wondering if your looking out the same direction as I each day. My thoughts are with you as you peer out that window, the bars of your life - know I am here if you should ever have need for a friend.
Namaste'
marcieR.
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It has a name.
This is called agrophobia. It means the fear of going outside. I once knew a girl who was just like this, she finally managed to be able to go further than to the hospital. I wish you the best with this.
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Yes I know and I suffer from agrophobia but not to the extent of some I do go out at times with my husband but not to far from home and always looking over my shoulder. Hopefully one day my fears will go away. Thanks for your kind comments Theresa
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A toughie but You will get throughit with your little one by your side.Refuse to be a victim any more. Look into that mirror and say I love me, and keep writing for us.
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This piece is indeed a great one, I have felt your tochy words and I have a feelings of respect towards your own family consists of Jason and your daughter, you know, there's no end of world!
God helps us in everyway.
A very best of luck in my contest, and thanks for sharing your world and views.
A Special Thanks for having the courage to show your fear and your world!!!
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This is a great piece I can relate to the feeling of not wanting to be out in the world it is really scary alot of the times even the simple things are not so simple thanks for sharing much love
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Some memories are worse then others, I hope that one day you can banish these demons from your past. The future is the best thing to look forward too, just take it one step at a time and you will pull through. Well done with this piece.
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