Doth thou see through mine eyes?
Thy words reflect me
like some divine mirror to my soul.
Would’st thou know me if I stood before thee in flesh?
Awakened in darkness,
I find thee and know ye walk this Earth once more.
My heart once cold,
becomes an ember of yearning,
Fanned by the flames of passion I hold for thee, my love.
Much time has passed,
and so in fiction shalt thee find truth,
And know that I long for thee dearly.
So long have I slept,
passing through lifetimes in restless slumber,
Anticipating that which I could not perceive.
Awaken my love…
Awaken with new eyes and know without doubt,
The true depths of my adoration for thee.
If I am to wait another lifetime, then so be it.
Fore I would’st not force my attentions upon thee,
Whill’st thy memories remain forsaken.
Fear not the awakening, for although the pain be vast.
Thine eyes shalt know enlightenment.
Remember me………
Author notes
This write was inspired by 'Love's Antiquity' by my friend & muse, Pastel Moons. Check it out, it's beautiful: http://allpoetry.com/poem/4914135
In a list
- Pastel Moons... • next in list
- Archiac/Classical poetry... • next in list
- MY FAVORITES FROM OTHERS • next in list
A contest entry
- Celebrating 200th Poem!!!!!!! by azlyn.
1039 points, ended March 20, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Let out our love or hate. by aj.vamp.
390 points, ended April 25, 2008, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wanted: Rockin love poetry! by babydollxgonexwrong.
400 points, ended December 22, 2008, 33 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Past life echo's by Draig aine.
1150 points, ended January 5, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Three of a Kind by ea.
400 points, ended August 2, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - About the one you love...PW allowed! by Sheilasbabygal4life.
700 points, ended September 1, 108 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love & Life After Death by Shantti.
1000 points, ended September 12, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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I love the old english used here. You made it work extrodanarily. Mine usually sounds so forced. Lovely story told too.
Beautifully done.
Thank you for entering
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Very good. I enjoyed this one. Thanks for entering and best of luck!
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Nicely done and congrats on all the shineys you ve recieved. I do like the old english poetry, but find it hard to figure which words should be changed and which words are the same as todays. The language of yesterday is much more romantic and eloquent than that of what we speak today.
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THIS IS AMAZINGLY PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL I ADORE IT SO! And not to mention perfectly penned. You've captured and stolen my heart with this...thank you so for sharing your soul....
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So beautiful. Sheila
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this is such a loving write in need of praise and adoration..thous words flow like rivers through thy world and replentishes the driery soul..I give full praise to thee for such a magnificant and beautiful write..
*smiles*
Sarah
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ahhh. . .
y'know, there's just something about Old English like this that is so beautiful to me. . .in one or two parts the word seemed a little off. . .but this is splendid - it has this power over me I can't quite understand. . .
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"Remember me" so soulful. Passionate yet endearing for the loss in words. beautiful poem.. bravo!!
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love it
a treasure indeed
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Hmmmm, love it. I like the way you mixed a timeless theme with an old style of writing, and didn't saturate it with an obvious attempt to overcomplicate your poem. Very nicely done.
I thought to criticize the lack of some stronger word choice in some lines, but upon second thought, I considered the fact that one of the poem's central themes is someone who is yet to confess their love, so perhaps subtle themes are best. Either way, nicely done.
Thanks for entering my contest! :] -
Gorgeous. Simply..amazing..Wow.
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This had really good imagery and
the words flowed really well.. I like this.
though I'm not used to reading "old english" type write, I did like this.. so great write.. Best of luck.
Angel
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its good
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Nice write, i think the flow is reasably smooth and strong and some of the archiac words fit quite well. but i feel that some of the arn't so flash. perhaps just the last stanza could benefit from a few less of them. "Would'est" and "Whill'st" in the last few lines are the most owkward of them to me.
but thanks for the read, i did enjoy the journey. -
Very nice write. Shakespeare isn't really my thing though. But other than that, Nice work. Good luck in my contest!
+ Jackie ♥ -
i heart it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Congrats on the bronze!
Oh I love all the old English (sure it has a name), this is a beautiful piece. I have read pastels piece many times and can see how it inspired you to write this. Superbly penned, good luck in the contest hun
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I just read this poem again because it still stands out in my mind. It's poetic how poetic should be and it's so full of gentle guided imagery that I fell in love ewith this the moment I read it. I think you should stick this on your authors page. It's very deep, something that isn't often found anymore. Beautiful poem Fritz. I'm glad I stumbled across this again.
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wow..erotic
this is wonderful..absolutely love the old english touch to this ...it just screams romance..thanx so much for sharing..(isn't Pastel wonderful?)..blessings..namaste..
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Wonderful!!! This is a very nice write...loved the feeling of it and the sentiment of everlasting love!!! Thanks and very best of luck!!!
Az -
Congratulations!!!
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And thank you for the inspiration!!!
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OK~ I really really like this write
~ your words are moving ~ awesome job!
good luck in the contest!
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Wonderful work here and all the best
to you in our contest! Thanks a lot
for entering it here and keep up the
great work!
Jeremy0826 -
Very hypnotic. Best of luck.
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Hmmh
The more of these poems that I read the more I like them, what a difficult decision to decide between them. Overall this is excellent. I would not change a thing.
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Hey there! This contest is for the People with Disabilities Group members only. You are welcome to join. We would love to have you. Please go to;
http://allpoetry.com/group/show/People%20with%20Disabilities
to join, if you would like to.
Thank you!
Sincerely and best wishes to you,
Kareneisenlord - Officer of Group for People with Disabilites -
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Thank you for joining our group. You are officially a member of the people with disabilities group. Best of luck in the contest!
Karen
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So romantic especially with the Old English. I love that period in time, wish I was born back then.
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Fritz, this is amazing!
I don't have the words
but those will come later,
because You inspire me.
Sigh ..so gorgeous!
(P.S I love the picture
it adds to the mistique)
~Pastel
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Jesus Fritz!!! This is amazing..What is amazing is without knowing it.Two souls here you and Pastels have somehow telepathically united to create the continuation of these masterpieces.Bravo!!!
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