In the looking glass
some old lady has usurped
my image...bent old crone,
cheeks like a valley
with rivers running through it.
Gnarled hands that curl
into claws and ache with the rain.
Hair gray, beautiful red gone.
Trembles to her steps.
No more mountains to climb.
No more worlds to conquer...
just waiting for that
last closing of the eyes.
In a list
A contest entry
- Show me what scares you by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended February 9, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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my image...bent old crone
with cheeks like a valley
with rivers running through it.
You could remove the first "with" to avoid the repetition, and it would not change the meaning at all.
I think we can all relate to that aging image in the mirror. Thank you for entering my contest. -
Gnarled hands that curl
into claws and ache with the rain.
Hair gray, beautiful red gone.
Trembles to her steps.
those lines created the image in my mind and i loved your words but no leaving or ill sulk


-
You are so beautiful too me and to so many
Please don't leave yet. We have many memories too make as a family. Such vivid imagery. I am in awe


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I'm sure she's still beautiful in someone's eyes...great...good luck....



