With flicking tail the ethereal being
Is one with the surrounding aquamarine.
Pearls loaned its hues to the
Local opium eaters
Who prophesized revolution.
Thriving on life here, the fluid is rich.
Nature in accordance and perfect harmony,
The sun, that being we love and hate;
The moon, creatural in its starry realm;
The birds, the fish, the sand and trees;
All silently singing an overture.
Delicate beauty,
Lace woven from life,
Strands of names and voices, so ornate.
An intruder comes, encompassing the underworld.
Simpler, a false god wearing
Philosophers’ shoes.
Carving patterns in the atmosphere,
The world is in delight.
It’s a sweeter nectar than
Eden’s apple.
Soon dissipating with the tide,
Stolen by earth’s machine,
The myth must revert
To old habits,
Old nutrient,
Ancient sustenance;
The wont of those with her tail.
Now unaccustomed to
The three-charactered goddess
She frantically, manically thrusts
Her form onto the sand
To become a withered remnant
Of magic.
Author notes
Attempt number 2 for my creative writing assignment. Again with the basis of my frustration with most readers of today; too lazy to look beyond the words, the concrete, to see the real meaning behind it all.
The being, a mermaid, is the reader and has become accustomed to the synthetic substance, the sweet, simple sustenance. Which would be poetry or stories with no intent on leading the reader further into it than what is on the page or an occasional "hmm...". The new stuff fades and it doesn't want to have to deal with the once wonderful, natural water. That normal water would be the classic poetry, the thinkers' poetry which the reader would see nothing in but a bunch of words, rhymes, stanzas which aren't pleasing up-front because it would take the smallest bit of effort to think on it. It can't deal with it and it kills itself by throwing itself upon the sand to die in the sunlight and lack of water. That is the creative mind perishing when there is nothing to stimulate it but some blatant words on a page.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Interesting piece, flow was off, good imagery....sadly the pompous author notes killed the piece in it's tracks.
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I'm sorry but I wanted a chance to explain myself before people went on thinking I wrote a poem simply about the death of a mermaid.
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You have some awesome phrases here that jump start the intellect while paying attention to the senses. The rhythm is a bit stop/start, but that too lends itself so well to the overall atmosphere of this piece.
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