A raging fire,
One that is of concern.
One that promises the ending to be near.
A lost hollow deep with in a broken soul.
Lost hours of angry tempers.
Mystery divulged by another source.
Memory so bitter sweet,
Of the cursed heartbroken well.
A deepness of misplaced hope.
A promise of untold hatred.
Courses through a river,
That sways dangerously close to the abyss.
Toppling towards the endless tides of burgandy.
A feeling so remiss there can not be an answer.
The threat of lonely wandering.
Of endless uneventful plagues to the mind.
Deprieved and uncomplete emotions.
Racing onward, surging together.
A night foresworn by the wise.
Martydom, maybe sactum?
The wise say it shall pass.
Foreward press foreward.
For the streets of heaven shall be gaurded.
A few precious remnants, foregotten.
But still here.
Watching over you.
Fallen, maybe chosen for this controversal cause.
Somehow revered, unknown.
should we still remain,
FREE.
what do you think?
Comments
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A very good poem, relating the need, the desire to become, remain free. And our country is so fortunate to have you and others like you, to protect our shores, our freedoms.
Aside from the little errors, which are already pointed out to you by Appetite for Words... this is a wonderfully patriotic piece.
Bless you, my dear son
love and
Mom
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I really like the way this poem sounds. There are a bunch of mistakes with the conventions; "uncomplete" should be "incomplete", "gaurded" should be "guarded", "with in" should be joined. It really doesn't matter though, because the wording is good and the poem has a nice mood to it. Good work!
Julia -
Great
Just a bit rusty though -
well this is very touching story of the life but it is the truth as well..you touched the esssence of the life here revealing the the deep sentiments of the heart..well done...
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