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Gunshot in the night

Missing image

Pappa my grandpappa strong and tall

 

 

Houser name worn proud integrity honor.

 

 

Pappa you grew watermelons right up to the creek

 

 

round ones for little ones to bust open and eat.

 

 

On the pond you made a boat square with barrels

 

 

to make it float, built rails to hold on as you poled grand-kids all about.

 

 

Two sons , two daughters fighting hating for what you had

 

 

You use to shout "My God I am not even dead "

 

 

Gramee Houser died no one to shame them ..to hold the peace.

 

 

my papaa they say you took  a pistol out to the granary

 

 

and ended your life that night...

 

 

 just that morning

 

 

had taken off my Sabbath shoes made a toady hole

 

 

in the sand pile made for us.

 

 

as you explained I would never have gramee Houser again

 

 

but  as long as God allowed I would have you....

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

'a candle in the dark'

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • celadia
    July 22, 2008

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    Such tragedy and so well told, I can just see the creek and the watermelons and grandpa, but how sad that he killed himself.


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    June 30, 2008

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    Fascinating.

    I love this but I'll need to come back and read it again to know precisely why. Has something to do with the feeling of patter, the line breaks, subtle changes in level of language.
    Must read more of your stuff.


  • parenchma
    June 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh dear...

    Men who deeply love their wives don't long outlive them. Kinda like Johnny Cash. Wish he would have waited on nature, tho. The problem was, he lost his friend. And he had no other friends to talk him out of the pain... So sorry for the loss.


  • queen Moderators member
    May 31, 2008

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    This is a wonderful story, i wish i would have had more time with my grandpa. He was one of a kind also


  • Florida Sunshine
    February 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I do like the story you have wheeled here ~ it is classically good ~ I enjoyed the read of the piece, although, I think the line break needs a bit of tweeking ~ If your really interested I'd be happy to show you what I mean after the contest ~ (if you send me a reminder in a couple of weeks) ~ I am loaded at the moment ~ and have so much to complete ~ I really won't have time until then ~ Overall ~ it's an ENTERTAINING piece without a doubt ~ I don't think there is anyone who can't see the value in this piece.

    Thanks so much for entering the "set the bar" contest ~ I really appreciate you sharing your work with me ~ best of luck to you!


  • Sagerider
    February 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I Just love it.

    You must have loved him a lot. I wish I could have known mine better but he was too busy.


  • jcat gold member
    January 26, 2008
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    ::SNIFF......SNIFF......How sad.... Made me miss my grandparents even more than most days


  • PinkPony
    January 25, 2008

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    What an amazing poem you have written. You write wonderful people poems. I admire your talent and big poetic heart so much, girl.


  • arafura gold member
    January 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... so very powerful and so very touching my friend. You bring your characters to life and your story telling ability is wonderful! Good luck in the contest!

1 - 12 of 12