(untitled atm)

As i sit and wait for my ailness to pass
i contemplate on the things ive done and have taken for granted
i lay here, unable to move and i think
i just think
i think about the joy i have when i run and play in the rain
i think about how i would absolutely miss my joyous skateboard
I think about the absolute madness and HaVoC i created with my closest friends
I become disheartened and begin to sob
tears do not flow and saddens me even further
Im so sick i cant even cry, i say to myself
My back aches and my head throbs
Thinking will only make it worse
my mind races and i cant seem to calm down
i yearn for the silence and boredom of sleep
my mind races so very fast i just cant seem to calm it down
i sit up and begin to write
i write and i write
completely oblivious to what i am actualy putting down on the paper
i become angry
why can i not see?
why can i not feel the words?
distressing questions run rampant in my mind
these questions and thoughts are aggrevating and are driving me insane
i cannot take this any longe, i shout
as i reach for the cold, metal,  life-taker
i become less tense
what am i doing, i question myself
what would i miss?
what would they think of me?
why am i even thinking about this?
too many questions running and im going crazy.
SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!, i cry out
i sit alone and try to lay back down and quiet my mind
i clear my head and continue to lie in bed
i bury my face in my blankets and become exhausted
i lay there
unable to sleep
barely able to supress my thoughts
looking for some closure to my missery i lie there
i lie in bed all day
not eating
not sleeping
not thinking
my sickness winnning the battle inside my body
i sit up and reach for my dresser
i open the bottle and tilt my head back throwing the contents into my mouth
i swallow
not long now i decide
not long
not long at all i continuously repeat to myself with a crazed laugh
as the pills start to take effect, i fall into a deep sleep
i try to wake but to no avail....