Eighty one years, just a blink of an eye,
in a moment of mortal decease,
the stars, rained down from the heavens above,
crumbling decrepitly at her feet,
an incandescent divine light emerges,
peace befalls the spirit and soul,
engulfing her sorrow, releasing her pain,
from contrived tribulations and woe,
letting go of what was once an existence,
feeling euphoric her heart is serene,
she finds, she is more than just alive in death,
she finds that she is free.
Author notes
"To die is to know that you're alive" ~ HIM
A contest entry
- Make It Snappy Whippersnappers!!! by DarkHunter.
375 points, ended June 4, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Death Contest... by SchizoChic.
600 points, ended August 9, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Congratulations on the trophies, they are well-deserved.
"engulfing her sorrow, releasing her pain,
from contrived tribulations and woe,
letting go of what was once an existence"
I definitely like those lines the best.
Thank youf for entering and good luck.
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Wow, very nice.
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Love how you took this. Death is a frightful thing for most of us and we fear the final hours. I thought for a second there you were actually 81. But checked your age, thank goodness!
You have plenty of time left, I'm hoping.
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very good...I personally like the last 2 lines the most...so tru...good job...thank u for entering and good luck.
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Very emotive and I agree with the quote in your AN. Deep and I loved your word usage. Short but powerful and to the point. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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Oh wow!! This one was great, especially the last two lines. Very subtle rhyming, too. The flow was a little strange at first read but overall I like this very much. Great job and good luck in the contest! --Shannon
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This is a strong and powerful write. Often hear the saying that only in death we are set free. Beautifully crafted and well written poem. Thanks for entering.
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a friend of ours who was suffering and in great pain just died and this is what I felt...freedom at last. A release for her. thank you for the entry
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thank you for your entry
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superb
great vocabulary utilised here, well written; thank you and good luck -
This is quite a deep and thought-provoking poem that you have written here.
Thank you for entering the contest, I wish you the best of luck!
Leander -
Often I think folks do believe freedom only comes with death, but in reality freedom comes when we allow ourselves to see us as we truly are. This is a sad, but lovely poem you've written
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My only qualm about this piece is the fact teat the number 21 should be spelled out in entirty when writing poetry. Other than that your pen a piece that touches the soul.
Thank you for entering.
Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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this is an amazing poem, that flows so very well. I like the shortness of it combined with the powerful words, it makes a very good poem.
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Very good. I love the whole concept, very good. And you use some good words too, not just the usual everday words. I felt the flow was a little hard to keep up with, but nothing major.
Thanks for entering my contest, and good luck!
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Quite an interesting subjectmatter you have written about Everyone has their own thoughts around death, and we will only know for sure what it really would be like when the moment is there.
Keep it up!
Leander
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